The hard part about going through a break up in your twenties isn't the fact that everyone is starting to ask you when you're going to get married. Try dealing with that shit on top of sitting at home all day. Alone. With no one to yank the phone out of your hand every time you wanna call your ex and ask him why he couldn't just try to work it out.
Sure, best friends can visit so you can roam the aisles of Target all afternoon, but eventually you're going to go home and that empty side of the bed and bottle of wine will convince you that you need to call him to let him know just how much of an asshole he is. Don't do it though, because at the end of the call, it'll be you feeling like an asshole.
My entire love for writing began when my post on how to get over a guy went viral. Yeah, a post I wrote at 3am in tears somehow blew up and to this day sits on the first page of Google. Which is equal parts awesome and embarrassing. And fresh of the bathroom floor I'm back with 100 things to do to keep you from calling your ex. Because you're better than that, and he deserves to step on a rusty nail. Repeat after me, "fuck that guy."
1. Call your best friend.
2. Call your old roommate.
3. Call your mom.
4. Call literally anyone who will answer the phone.
5. Get a haircut. But nothing too crazy that you’ll regret later.
6. Dance to an entire Beyoncé album.
7. Realize you can’t dance and instead switch to a Taylor Swift album.
8. Belt out Adele’s entire album, in tears, preferably while using a remote as a microphone.
9. Sort through all the photos in your phone.
10. Go cry in front of the mirror. It’s weird but also kinda therapeutic.
11. Cook something since you probably haven’t eaten in a while.
12. Clean your apartment.
13. Clean the parts of your apartment you always skip. You know what I’m talking about.
14. Go to the store, any store. Just get some air.
15. Go grocery shopping, you could probably use some healthy foods.
16. Watch an episode of a show you absolutely love.
17. Write all your feelings down in a journal entry. Or email draft, whatever.
18. Watch a YouTube video.
19. Try to get through a Blogilates video.
20. Or visit the gym!
21. Take yourself to a movie. Trust me, no one cares you’re there alone. If anything, they’re impressed by your lack of needing someone to come with you.
22. Clean out your inbox. Life’s too stressful already without having 2000 unread emails.
23. Waste time on Pinterest. That’s an immediate hour gone.
24. Try one of those YouTube makeup tutorials. How the hell do those 14 year olds apply eyeliner so perfectly?!
25. While you’re doing your makeup, go full ultimate grand supreme and try a hair tutorial.
26. Clean out your closet and toss anything you don’t love.
27. Take your dog for a walk.
28. Or for all my cat ladies out there, brush your cat!
29. Block your ex from your Facebook newsfeed.
30. Or go the extra mile and block them on all social media. Status updates are only gonna bring you down, and you don't need that negativity in your life.
31. Find new music with Spotify.
32. You should probably do your laundry. It’s time girl.
33. Go for a walk, literally anywhere.
34. Pack away all the things that remind you of your ex.
35. Take a shower.
36. Start a blog!
37. Find a new hobby.
38. Join Meetup.com
39. Put together a bath. Like a legit one where you can take a photo of your legs in the bubbles.
40. Make a break up playlist.
41. Read one of your old favorite books.
42. Flip through all your old magazines.
43. Clean out your purse.
44. Clean out your junk drawer.
45. Turn off your breakup playlist and make a strong independent woman playlist.
46. Scroll through Tumblr.
47. Think about planning a weekend vacation.
48. Go buy some plants for your home.
49. Go to your favorite hangout spot.
50. Create a new outfit with clothes you already own.
51. Watch a comedy special on Netflix.
52. Buy tickets to a show you’ve always wanted to see.
53. Begin watching a new TV series.
54. Paint something.
55. Spend an entire day watching Law and Order SVU. Nothing mends a broken heart like watching Olivia Benson catch bad guys.
56. Drown yourself in inspirational quotes. Pinterest and Instagram are a gold mine for quotes to boost your mood.
57. Listen to a podcast.
58. Treat yourself to a manicure or pedicure.
59. Focus on your schoolwork instead.
60. Write down all the reasons you can’t stand him. It sounds childish but it’s important to not idealize the relationship.
61. Join something! A team, organization or book club.
62. Find something cute to Instagram. It sounds vain but it’ll keep you busy and the likes will boost your ego.
63. Change your ex’s contact name.
64. Find a video game to play.
65. Drink an entire glass of water, or wine, your choice.
66. Fill out surveys online.
67. Rearrange your furniture. This will help your space feel more like your own, which helps if you once lived together.
68. Pluck your eyebrows.
69. Go buy one of your old favorite magazines. Does anyone remember reading Cosmo Girl and Jane Magazine?
70. Invest in a new bra, because your boobs deserve it.
71. Learn the choreography to one of your favorite music videos. This will take you all day, which is kind of the point.
72. Actually follow through on those Pinterest projects you pin.
73. Dye your hair.
74. Spend some time reading about other people’s breakups. Shit could be a lot worse dude.
75. Go bowling.
76. Revert back to being 12 and dance around in your underwear to Hilary Duff, or whoever you were obsessed with.
78. Floss, because you probably need to anyways.
79. Clean out your text messages. They suck up storage space and are full of messages from your ex.
80. Clean out the photos on your laptop. Do you really need all 900 photos of your cat? (yes)
81. Delete any apps that you don’t use anymore. You need the storage space for all the new numbers you’ll be getting! (positive thinking guys)
82. Brunch is always a good idea, especially if it’s the weekend.
83. Have you updated your phone to the new iOS? Probably not right?
84. Your computer probably has updates you’ve been avoiding for weeks too.
85. Go find your perfect shade of lipstick.
86. Work on updating your resume.
87. Watch your favorite childhood film. Enjoy catching all those jokes six year old you never caught.
88. Watch a horror movie, because the last thing you need right now is to watch a romantic comedy.
89. Grab one of those adult coloring books and see what the hype is all about.
90. Bake something.
91. Clean out your downloads folder.
92. Sort through all your bookmarks. The internet ones. Does anyone still have physical bookmarks?
93. Play with your pet. The only thing on this planet that will love you unconditionally, even when you forget to feed them.
94. Private all your old/embarrassing Facebook profile photos. Nobody needs to see what 2008 version of you looked like.
95. Scroll through your Facebook posts from years ago. It’s weird how many pointless updates we used to post.
96. Not in love with your job? Check out who’s hiring.
97. Visit that coffee shop you always pass by but never go inside.
98. Choose the thing you’ll say to your ex in case you ever run into him.
99. Find an arcade in your city. They’re cheap and fun.
100. If all else fails, search funny cat videos on the internet.