8 Weird Things I Do When Home Alone13 November 2015
My living situation is a bit on the complicated side. While I do technically have my own apartment, I rarely have it all to myself. With a boyfriend that stays over every night and gets home from work before me, I don't always have the alone time I thought I would when I signed the lease. I'm not complaining though, without that boy there would still be a spider underneath a shoe box in my hallway and I'd still be pretending to not see those old moldy potatoes in the back of my cabinet.
Friday and Saturday nights though are the two nights a week I have the apartment all to myself. While my boyfriend checks IDs and kicks people out of a bar for being too drunk to function, I like to do all the little things that I've been doing since before we ever met. We all have little quirks, but I like to think of mine more as rituals. I mean, why else would I turn down the lights and double check all the doors are locked?
Spend a lot of time looking at my eyebrows.
A LOT. I have been known to sit on the ground in front of my full length mirror for an hour at a time, not even plucking or shaping, just staring. Arguing with myself over which one is the biggest embarrassment and cursing the eyebrow gods for making them sisters and not twins.
Debating whether or not I have a mustache.
99% of the time I decide on "no, I do not have a mustache," but hey, you cant win them all! For all my dark haired sisters out there, you know what I'm talking about! Try having black hair and pale white skin, it's not pretty. While I try to pay attention to what's going on above my lips sometimes life gets in the way and next thing I know I'm brushing my teeth while the dad from Bob's burgers looks back at me.
Have long conversations with my cat.
Other people do this too, right? I don't know why I do it or where it all started, but I've had full on conversations with my cat about what happened at work and how I really need to get around to returning that dress that didn't fit me. And by conversations, I mean I talk endlessly while Max stares up at me hoping I'll drop him a treat. Usually I do, unless it's one of the dozen things I need him to remind me to buy next time I'm going to the store.
Facebook stalk my frenemies.
Ex-boyfriends, old high school friends, friends of people I barely know myself, it doesn't matter who, there's only one criteria: I have no real desire to spend time with them. I don't know why I do it, but nothing is more fun that catching up on people's lives without them knowing about it. Plus, if they didn't want you to see their gym selfie they should really update their privacy settings. Don't judge me, I'm only crazy from a safe distance.
Put on my granny pajamas.
Everyone owns a pair of pajamas that they aren't proud of. Whether you've had them since middle school or they are three sizes too large, we all have them. In my case, my mom buys me a pair every Christmas, from Costco to be more specific. Don't let the fact I call them granny pajamas confuse you though, I love them! They are so soft no matter how many times I wash them, always in a muted pastel color and even have decent sized pockets. The second my boyfriend leaves the apartment, or on nights when I cant be bothered to care what I look like, I jump into my fuzzy pink coordinated pajama set and eat myself into a food coma. They're loose, no one can tell anyways.
Wonder where my glasses are.
Reason #1256 why I appreciate my boyfriend, he always know where my glasses are. Ask him about the remote or his own phone and he'll have no clue, but my glasses are luckily always on his radar. So on the nights when I'm home alone, a good portion of that time is spend searching under couches and piles of blankets mumbling about how I should just get that eye surgery already.
Trying and failing at cooking new things.
I am a very picky eater, however picky you think you may be, imagine being able to list all the foods you eat with your two hands. And I don't even need all my fingers. Just because I hate to try new things when it comes to food doesn't mean I want to turn my boyfriend into a chicken and potato kind of guy, which is why I sometimes try to learn how to cook new things when he's not around. Usually it looks terrible or I missed a key ingredient/step, so I like to get rid of the evidence and pretend like it never happened.
Plan a vacation.
This definitely tops the list as the weirdest thing I do when I have a few hours to myself. My love for travelling hasn't lessened ever since I started working full time, but with no vacation days or money to go on a real trip, I opt for the second best thing, imaginary ones! I have spent hours on travel websites comparing moderately priced hotels and cheap plane tickets because even in my fantasy I know I won't be flying first class.
Are there any weird habits you have when home alone? I know I can't be the only one that belts out Beyonce the moment I hear the door close behind my boyfriend! Let me know what your list of weird things includes in a comment below!