Facebook Proved to Me That Our 20s are the Best Years of Our Life

I've fallen into a bit of a routine lately. Up by 8:30, work by 10, home by 7, repeat. Even my weekends are becoming similar, usually including visiting my favorite dive bar, tending to my succulents and enjoying the bliss that comes with living alone in a city full of people. I absolutely love the fact that I have the freedom to live such a comfortable and boring life, but sometimes I get angsty like in this post and worry that I'm not making the best use of my twenties.

Popular media and apps like Instagram highlight the best parts of being young and carefree. Instead of snapping the piles of work on our desks we share the moments we spend at perfectly set dinner tables, Caribbean vacations and nights out till dawn. Working full time has left me wondering if I'm not making the most out of this decade, the very one that began with the decision to pack my bags in hope of discovering something about myself on the other side of this world. After spending too much time trying to figure out how I could live spontaneously at least once this week, I opened up my Facebook and was reminded that I'm just not the spontaneous type of girl, and that's okay.

Facebook's timeline review is this thing you either love or hate, and thanks to my lack of embarrassing old posts, I kinda love it. Every day I get a notification to remind me of what I was doing on this day a few years ago. Unfortunately nowadays I never post to Facebook, but luckily I've turned to other forms of social media to document my life.

As I clicked the notification on the top of the webpage I anticipated the usual posts: complains about studying, updates on my thoughts on Grey's Anatomy and possibly a quick snapshot of the relationship I was having at the time. Except today didn't disappoint, March 22nd seems to be a pretty phenomenal day for me.

Related Post: Moments Every Twenty Something Can Relate To as Told By Friends

Three years ago I was spending my first few hours in Amsterdam, the first stop in my five week backpacking adventure. Based on this alone you would think I live this spontaneous, carefree life. Nope. I planned out every detail of that trip, and enjoyed the planning stages just as much as the experiences.

Two years ago today I was boarding a flight to Washington DC, a trip that would ultimately lead to my eventual relocation to our nation's capital. As exciting as this was, it was in no way unplanned. I worked my butt off throughout college so that my last semester could be spent working and living in the capital. While my time in DC was fun and full of random adventures, my preparation was anything but.

The point of all of this is to remind us that fun and adventure doesn't have to be spontaneous, carefree and without a plan. It's perfectly okay to carve out time to go with the flow and spend the rest working your ass off to be able to afford it. So no, I'm not the kinda girl who goes to brunch without first looking up a menu or thinks a night out going "wherever the night takes us" is fun, but I'm all for looking up reviews, placing a date on the calendar and enjoying the best part of it all, the anticipation. For now I'll continue working my eight hours a day, saving up my dollars for a flight to the Caribbean and pinning island worthy outfits to my vacation board.

What has been one of the most memorable moments of your twenties so far, and if you can't think of one, what's something you're working towards?

Moments Every Twenty Something Can Relate To As Told by Friends

Being a twenty something feels a lot like being a 12 year old at a kid's party. You're not young enough to enjoy all the fun but you're nowhere near old enough to relate to the adults. So you're stuck in this weird stage where people expect you to be having the time of your life while still making responsible choices, like that's even possible.

I'm currently facing a dilemma of having the money to go on a vacation but lacking the time, and friends who have said money to vacation with me. That's the thing about adulthood, everyone reaches it at different stages, which makes navigating adulthood that much more difficult. As I hid under my blankets to avoid looking at the messy state of my apartment, I realized I couldn't possibly be the only one that feels like I'm sometimes just going through the motions.

When you realize too late that you forgot to stock up on basic necessities, like toilet paper and dish soap.

The unexplainable joy of waking up on pay day,

only to give away all your money to rent, utilities and student loan bills.

Stalking your old college boyfriends to see if they ever did become doctors or lawyers,

then moving on to check up on high school boyfriends.

Feeling a lot better about yourself after Facebook stalking your entire high school graduating class.

Running out of food and eating popcorn for dinner.

Looking around at your messy apartment and realizing your mom was right about you being a lazy slob.

Dealing with people constantly telling you how you're going to get fat in a few years.

The idea of going to the gym sounding like it could be fun,

but not wanting to spend any actual time or money at the gym.

Working a job you aren't totally in love with,

but also not being able to picture yourself in your ideal role yet.

The constant stress of wondering if every guy you meet is the one.

Quickly realize he was just another one and a really big douche.

All of your friends moving in opposite directions.

Growing close to people you never imagined you would consider a best friend.

Adopting a pet is one of the biggest milestones of this decade of your life.

Not wanting to attend anything that doesn't promise food or booze, preferably both.

Hating that dating nowadays requires an app,

but also being totally weirded out when a stranger walks up to you in real life.

Relatives constantly asking you about when you plan to settle down, or worse...

relatives never bothering to ask you when you plan to settle down. As if this isn't even an option for you.

Your old friend are starting to get married and you cant be envious even for a second.

Having to act like surprise pregnancies are total blessings and to be celebrated. Sure, but I mean, can we be real for like two seconds?

Quickly realizing you cannot be real for two seconds and keeping all your opinions about marriage and babies in your early twenties to yourself!

Wondering sometimes if you picked the wrong major, city to live in or TV show to binge watch.

Knowing that everything will work out because your mom said it would. Eventually.

So spill, what's been the hardest part of being a twenty something so far?

5 Guys I Will Never Date Again (Like Ever)

For the twenty three years I've been on this earth I've dated for ten. That's a decade of first kisses, running to pick up my landline before my mom had the chance and falling out of love with boys who I once would have split a pizza with. I started dating when I was thirteen years old, and now ten years later, I'm not sure if I'm any better at it.

Every relationship did teach me a little about the game of love, and even more about what I'm looking for in a person. My last relationship was the most eye opening though, which is funny since near the end of it I couldn't stand to look at him. But I digress.

My nights in the city have changed drastically over the past few months, from nights at the same bars with the same "friends" to a new group of people each week, new venues to dance in and memories to capture. All so that the boys of my past can search my name and see just how much I've changed my life for the better since our time together.

A few nights ago I was chatting with a boy while simultaneously watching an episode of Frasier, my ultimate guilty pleasure. What I thought was a text alert from the boy was actually a Facebook notification, which was odd since it was close to midnight on my side of the world. And true to my initial instinct it was from a boy, but not the one I had been exchanging witty banter with for the past two hours. It was from my most recent ex.

Related Post: 100 Things to Do Instead of Calling Your Ex Boyfriend

Most likely in his late night drunkenness he had decided to do what every regretful ex does, Facebook stalk me. Except this boy is different from the rest, he craves attention. His not so subtle liking of old posts of mine is nothing new, but up until this point he's kept his antics on Instagram. I suppose his girlfriend being out of town gave him the opportunity to check up on me, and somewhere in the process he thought it would be a good idea to like a two year old photo. Idiot.

This late night interruption led me to start thinking about the boys I would never reconsider dating again, with this particular lad at the top of my list. Next thing I knew I had an entire list, but for everyone's sake I narrowed it down to five. Cause all are exes can't be bad, right? I'm still doing the research on this.

Related Post: How to Deal with Exes on Social Media

The guy with no job.

Being a recent college graduate, I understand the struggle to find your first job after graduation. What I don't understand is looking down on jobs when you are in the position of not having one. After spending way too much time trying to support a man in trying to kick start his career, I made the decision to only date those who have life together enough to have somewhere to be in the morning and not have their rent paid by their parents.

The guy who is stuck in his college party phase.

Going out in your twenties is borderline expected of you, but going on a Tuesday night? Not so much. While happy hours and trivia nights are totally acceptable, shots on the regular during the week are not. If I ever find myself dating a man who can't not go out on a Friday night, I will definitely find my own way to the nearest exit.

The guy who is too clingy.

Texts and calls on a regular basis are cute and show that you're on their mind, knocks on your door at 3am are scary and not to be tolerated. After dating a guy who would literally freak out when I would tell him I had to go to bed, I knew what it meant to be in a possessive relationship. Luckily I quickly put 3,000 miles between us, but I pray whoever he ends up with is strong enough to not put up with his clingy bullshit.

The guy with commitment issues.

Ever dated a guy who had been single for so long cause he couldn't find the right one? You're not special honey, he just wanted to taste all the fish in the sea. (That came out a lot dirtier than I wanted it too.) When you finally do define the relationship with this type you'll spend the rest of your time worrying if he's planning his big escape. Save yourself the energy and date someone who isn't always wondering what else is out there.

The guy still hung up on his ex.

Is there anything harder than sitting across from your boyfriend and wondering what he's looking at on his phone? Dating a man who still thinks about the time he spent with his ex isn't only unhealthy for the relationship, it's unhealthy for your mental state. Number one rule to dating a guy is to make sure they aren't still holding on to what used to be. Unless you are like me and enjoy chuckling at your ex's ex accidentally liking your Instagram photos. Yeah, you read that right.

What did you last relationship teach you about what you want in a significant other? Spill the details in the comments below!

10 Tips and Techniques for the Best Phone Interview

Phone interviews give you the jitters of a first date with the comfort of knowing if all goes wrong still got a free meal out of it. The option to be interviewed over the phone means you don't have to stress about things like body language, how to enter the room or what to wear. It cuts out all the anxiety that comes with meeting someone who will be judging you face to face, but add other complications like bad cell service and stuttering. A lot of stuttering.

If you're preparing for an upcoming phone interview or just want to know what you possibly could have done wrong, read on to read the 10 tips and tricks to help you make your phone interview smooth, memorable, and hopefully, a face to face second interview.

Related Post: 10 Most Popular Interview Questions (with tips on how to answer them!)

1. Practice the 10 most popular interview questions.

Interviews shouldn't be something you go into blind, which is why it's important to have answers ready for the common questions every employer asks. While I recommend you practice with a friend that's not always  possible, so at the very least record yourself answering the question to see where you have the most trouble.

2. Visit Glassdoor for possible interview questions.

If you haven't ever visited this site, you're welcome. Not only does it list ratings on employers, it also features people reviewing their interviews and sharing questions they were asked. Trust me, it's your one stop shop for all the details you want to know before accepting a job offer.

3. Get dressed.

It's so tempting to not change out of your pajamas for a phone interview, but the process of getting dressed has been shown to boost your confidence. I'm not saying you need to put on a full face of makeup and your best heels, but a shower and change of outfit will definitely help you feel more put together. .

Related Post: What to Wear on Casual Friday (with 7 Outfit Examples)

4. Print out the job description.

Having the job description in front of you will ensure you don't make a silly mistake like referring the wrong job posting or forgetting one of the job requirements. My usual goal is to weave some of the job requirements into my answers, so it's beneficial to have all the information in front of me rather than try to remember in the moment.

5. Have a copy of your resume and cover letter on hand.

Not sure about you, but I have multiple versions of my resume to choose from, and no way of keeping track which I send out to potential employers. This is why I like to have a hard copy of my resume and cover letter with me during a phone interview, cause nothing is more embarrassing than not being able to remember the job description you used on your application. Some may recommend you have them open on a computer, but we all know how unreliable technology can be when we really need it.

6. Have quick access to the internet.

The most nerve wracking part of a phone interview is actually connecting with the employer, and it's not uncommon that they email you prior to the interview to let you know they will be a bit late or need to cancel. Having access to your email is necessary, so keep a laptop nearby in case of unplanned emergencies.

7. Find somewhere free from interruptions.

Anyone with pets knows that they demand your attention at the most inconvenient times, which is why it's so important you find a space free from noise, distractions and your furry friends. If you're at home, choose a room away from any major streets and people who can walk in and interrupt. If you are on campus or at the office, let those around you that you need some uninterrupted time and don't be shy about posting a sign to let others know.

Related Post: 10 Reasons You Didn't Get the Job

8. Answer the phone confidently.

While most of us don't usually get calls from unknown numbers, it's safe to assume that the number calling you on the day of your interview is the potential employer. Answer the call confidently by saying hello and stating your name, this way the person on the other end doesn't have to ask to speak to the person that's already on the line, ie you.

9. Be honest about what's going on around you.

If during your interview you are having terrible reception or there is a sudden loud distraction, don't fear letting the person on the other side know. It's better they pause and give you a moment than you miss a key piece of information. Employers know you most likely don't have an quiet office space to talk in, so don't be shy about letting them know about any difficulties you may be having.

10. Make yourself memorable after the interview.

One big disadvantage of phone interviews is the lack of face to face interaction, especially for those of us who tend to do very well when being interviewed. One easy way to make sure you stand out from the rest is to send a thank you note or email after the interview. Simply thank the interviewer for their time and express your interest in the position. Something as simple as this will help the employer pick you out from a pile of applications.

What's your biggest hurdle when it comes to being interviewed? Personally, nothing makes me more nervous than trying to remember the names of everyone in the room!

6 Things Twenty Somethings Should Do Before Signing a Lease

Most people think of college graduation, getting married and having children as adult milestones. While those totally count, I think the process of renting your own apartment is definitely downplayed in the world of being a successful grownup. Think about it, we make fun of people who live at home past the acceptable age but never praise those who manage to make it on their own, one rent payment at a time.

Even though I haven't lived at home for five years, renting my own personal apartment, sans roommates, was a pretty big deal in my book. All bills come in my name, all damage is mine to deal with and all the space is mine. Now how are you gonna tell me I shouldn't at least get a pat on the back for figuring this all out?

Finding an apartment can be difficult though, especially in a city as crowded and overpriced as Washington DC. If you've come to the point where you've found a place your'e comfortable settling down in, make sure you don't sign a lease till you cover all your bases. Cause there's nothing worse than being trapped in an apartment you hate.

Related Post: The Ultimate Guide to Finding an Apartment in the City

Don't rush into anything.

It's easy to fall in love with an apartment and be pressured into signing a lease that same day, but don't do it! When I was apartment hunting last summer I had so many leasing agents telling me how many people they had interested in the same apartment. In reality they just wanted to make me feel like I could lose that spot at any time. Trust me, if there's a ton of people interested then they won't bother trying to convince you to sign. Take the time to inspect, look at other options, read the lease agreement thoroughly and negotiate your terms.

Don't read between the lines.

Even though we're all so accustomed to accepting terms of service without so much as looking at the words, don't do this when signing a lease. Dedicate some time to sit down and read every word on the lease. It's important to pay attention to things such as pet policies, early lease termination guidelines, who is responsible for apartment maintenance and what is included in the rent.

Related Post: 8 Inexpensive Ways to Make Your Apartment Feel Like Home

Get everything in writing.
Did your landlord agree to let you paint? Or did you discuss lowering a certain aspect of the bills? If so, get anything you discussed and agreed on in writing, and add those documents to your lease before you sign. At my last apartment I had permission from my landlord to have a cat in the house, but midyear our landlord changed to a completely new person. Thankfully I had documents that proved I was allowed to have a cat in the house free of any monthly pet charges.

Read the reviews.

Apartment reviews were this thing that I had no idea even existed until I needed them, and I'm thankful every day that I found them. I almost made the mistake of signing a lease to an apartment complex that had reviews which all said "DO NOT LIVE HERE! STAY AWAY!!" Literally. Google the name of your apartment with the word review and see what pops up, you might be surprised.

Check out the neighborhood at different times.

I have so much love for my apartment, but one thing that I forgot to do what visit the complex at night. If I had I would have noticed the group of men that like to stand at the end of the street and just kind of hang out and take up space, or the woman who is always yelling about owning her own body and how so and so owns her money. No hate to my neighborhood but it's definitely nothing my landlord mentioned.

Related Post: 10 Lessons You Learn Living Alone in Your Twenties

Document all damage.

While there shouldn't be any damage to any apartment when you move in, in case their is make sure to document any problems you see prior to signing a lease. If your lease doesn't cover repairs make sure to check ordinary things like garbage disposals and how well the tub drains so that you're not stuck with a bill to a problem you didn't cause.

Do you have any renting horror stories? Share your life lesson in the comments below!

Things Only Bloggers Will Understand

Blogging is this thing you either get or you don't, kinda like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. When someone asks me how long I've been sharing my thoughts with strangers on the internet I have to pause and think about it for a moment, which to me signals that I've been doing it for much longer than I ever imagined I would.

Recently I've been focusing my energy on creating a community around me. You know the saying, "it take a village to raise a child." Well I'm starting to think it takes a village to survive your twenties. My quest to form my ultimate squad means I spend my weekends with people I don't know very well and who don't know much about me, yet. Within just a few hours though they do notice one thing about me, I will go to extreme measure to take the perfect shot. I mean stand on my chair, lay on the ground, stand in traffic just to get the right angle and lighting for Instagram.

I'm not at all ashamed, and I'm also not alone. Instead of sitting at home behind our laptops like no one in the world will ever understand our struggle, can we all take a moment and enjoy the things only fellow bloggers will understand?

Not understanding why our photos are always so dark,

...or worse, yellow!

The irritation that comes with trying to get the perfect flat lay.

Spending hours on a post that get's minimal page views while another blogger writes the same thing and has it go viral.

Trying to explain to your friends why they can't eat their food yet.

Having a collection of half used notebooks.

And an even bigger collection of post its, notepads and every pen in the Target One Spot section.

The worry that comes with your boss finding your blog.

The anxiety of the new guy you're dating finding your blog.

Or worse, your ex reading your blog, post breakup!

Looking at a folder full of drafts but still having nothing to post.

Never being fully satisfied with your blog design.

Pretending like you totally understand StumbleUpon.

Your most ordinary post pulling in all the page views, and you have no clue why!

The stress of feeling like you need to post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and whatever new social media is cool that month.

Posting your contact info and waiting for the sponsorship opportunities to start rolling in...*total silence*

The embarrassment that comes with using the same stock photo the same week as a blogger you follow.

Never knowing what to say in your About Me.

Watching a new blogger get really popular and sitting at home wondering why.

The whole niche versus no niche argument.

Having read dozens of WordPress versus Blogger posts.

And being strongly on one side of the debate.

Just wanting to find an Instagram aesthetic you can stick to, and enjoy!

The feeling of a post you worked really hard on getting genuine comments.

What's one thing your non-blogger friends just don't understand??

In Defense of Girls Who Like to Stay Home on a Friday Night

My friend Marilyn just posted the most empowering thing on Instagram. No it wasn't a butt selfie or a meme about how all men are fuck boys, it was her grad school transcript. All 'As. All A's in her graduate courses. Wow.

People like to make fun of the women (and men) who choose to stay home on a Friday night. Jokes are made about those of us who find more comfort in a few close friends, an evening with Netflix or just a restful night of sleep. The thing is, we don't give a fuck.

Related Post: Making Friends as an Adult

While everyone else is downing shots at a bar and stumbling home in the cold at 2am, we're in bed, not worrying the price of the Uber ride home or if we're going to be able to make it to brunch the next morning. We find comfort in our predictable plans, close circle of friends and personal achievements.

Many of my friends in California are just like me, living for every day, not just the weekend. And I've come to realize that's why I had such a hard time forming close relationships in DC, a city where everyone is temporary and trying to advance as high as possible without putting in the years of work. People get one elite internship and are offended they aren't immediately offered a job. Meanwhile my friends in California commute two hours on the bus to work, attend school full time and are grinding to make their dreams a reality.

Girls who stay home on a Friday night aren't boring. We aren't antisocial and we do like to have fun. Except our idea of fun doesn't include being out until early the next day. surrounded by people trying to impress everyone around them while living up to the perceptions of what life in our twenties should be.

Yes, our twenties are a time to live, experiment, make mistakes and seize the moment. But sometimes the moment doesn't have to happen in a crowded club at 12am in a dress you aren't 100% sure you feel confident in. Seizing the moment can be taking a job you aren't sure if you're ready for, going on a vacation by yourself or dating the person you never thought would be your type.

Related Post: 10 Lessons You Learn Living Alone in Your Twenties

So if you're like me or my friend Marilyn, stressing over your loan payments and how you will ever reach your page requirements for that paper due this week, I salute you. Ignore what all those articles insist you live your twenties like, do whatever makes you happy at the end of the night. If your idea of fun is dancing at a club till 2am or dancing in your pjs with your two best friends, do you boo boo, cause the best years of our life will only win that title of we put ourselves first.

Congrats to those of you who can find pleasure in a crowded space and respect to those of you who find comfort in a familiar space. There is no right or wrong way to spend a Friday, your twenties, or a night out, but to assume those that choose to stay behind are missing out is like us assuming you choosing to go out is a cry for attention.

How do you typically spend your weekend nights? Let me know in the comments below what side of the spectrum you typically fall on. 

How to Deal with Exes on Social Media

How does one deal with an ex on social media? And I'm not talking about a guy you briefly dated, I'm talking full on relationship, celebrated holidays together, might have even shared a toothbrush with type of relationship. Especially when said ex gave you no closure, explanation, or in reality, respect.

When you want to be a grown adult and not block someone simply because the love died, how do you navigate seeing their post updates and knowing they can see yours. Moving past obsessing over what they post is what most focus on during a break up, but what do you do when they cross the line of silently lurking and into commenting territory. And no, not simple ones like "lol" or "cool." I'm talking sarcastic remarks that once were funny but now just serve the purpose of forcing thoughts of him into your mind.

How do you continue to be the bigger person when the restless teen inside you want to reply, "bitch, I will cut you." Luckily, I have experience in this department, I could lead this department, so let's figure this one out together.

Related Post: The Reasons Why My Ex-Boyfriend Was Like My iPhone 4s

You can choose to go one of two ways: continue following him or unfollow.

If you choose to continue following him know that you will still see all his status updates, including selfies at his favorite bar and comments left by his new bae. If you're strong enough to deal with this, more power to you!

Unfollowing him ensures that you cant see all his status updates, as long as he doesn't have his accounts set to public. Cause we both know you will search him late one night whether you follow him or not. If his profiles are private, this is an easy way to make sure you don't spend time stalking his every move and analyzing his posts.

If his presence online really bothers you, and I've been there, you can also go the extra step and block him. Blocking him means you probably already unfriended/unfollowed him, but if you haven't this means that by default you will be both blocking and unfollowing/unfriending. Is this all making sense?

When you block someone they no longer exist on your social media sphere, meaning not only will you not be able to see their account at all, they can also no longer see you. If they are tagged in photos by a mutual friend, that tag will lead you to a dead end page. Not gonna lie, nothing feels better than blocking someone. So if you're angry or dealing with an ex who always wants to come running back, this might be your best option.

Related Post: 100 Things to Do Instead of Calling Your Ex-Boyfriend

People always forget to mention all the stuff that is left behind after a relationship, and I'm not talking about the forgotten hoodies and favorite CDs. Photographs, videos, and comments from when you two were at your happiest are still up on display for the world to see. This is where things get difficult, no matter how you feel after a break up.

Post break up you need to decide if you fall into the team of not removing old posts and photos, or do a clean sweep of all your social media accounts. Personally, my decisions depends on the type of break up we had, whether it was amicable, and whether or not I feel the urge to punch them in the face.

I haven't deleted all the photos from my last relationship simply because doing so would take out such a large chunk of the memories I made over the past year or more. Since our lives were so intertwined, deleting it all would mean I would lose posts I shared on Christmas, birthdays and other big milestones. But 2012 version of me was all about deleting old boyfriends once a breakup happened, but I also posted a lot more often and had a lot less really going on at that time in my life.

How you choose to deal with an ex online is up to you, my overall advice is to do what makes you recover faster and easier. I've learned that guys are so much less bothered by this, which was proven when I visited my now ex's apartment and still found all of our photos covering his fridge, weeks after we had broken up! You're not petty for starting with a clean slate and you're not holding onto things by continuing like nothing happened, so do what's best for you. And also, screw that guy.

What do you do after a break up, delete all old posts and quickly unfriend them or continue living like nothing happened?

P.S. Are you a twenty something that isn't sure if you're living the dream or just surviving it? Click here to learn more on how you can connect with other twenty somethings on Instagram who know the struggle of trying to figure out how to adult while also eating popcorn for dinner one night a week.