PS I'm Blogging About This: I Thought I Was A Preferred Customer!?!

PS I'm Writing About This is a column that will highlight some of the colorful conversations I have with friends, strangers and inanimate objects in my daily life...



I spend a lot of time at Yogurtland. So much time that I have a rewards card which within two months reached Raspberry Tier. Meaning I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. Because of my rewards card membership and the fact that Yogurtland follows me on both Instagram and Twitter, I thought we had a connection. In the very least I thought I was a preferred customer, the kind that receives coupons for free froyo every once in a while. I was living a lie, because one short week ago my thoughts on my relationship with Yogurtland were forever changed.

Last week I ditched school and everything I had planned for the week to run home and visit my mom. To read more about why I took the impromptu break from school you can click here. Once my mom was out of the hospital and feeling a bit better, we went out to see if we could figure out why my brand new laptop wasn't turning on. After receiving the bad news from Geek Squad we decided to stop for lunch.

With my mom not allowed to eat much of anything, we decided on Subway since it's one of the few places that serves relatively "healthy" food. While my mom told the sandwich artist her complicated order, I made my way to the register and let the cashier know it would be a dine in order. My mom quickly snapped at me to say it was "to go," which annoyed me because 1) I wanted to eat it there and 2) what was she talking about, we both knew we were going to eat in the patio area. I repeated my request to dine in and again my mom corrected me by saying it was for carry out. Too frustrated to deal with this back and forth I asked why she was being so weird, and that's when she told me the horrible news.

Companies like Subway and Yogurtland charge you more if you choose the dine in option. BOOM.

Me not believing a word my mom was saying immediately started interrogating the high school aged boy behind the register, demanding to know if he was going to charge me more to eat there. He admitted yes and had no real answer as to why, not finding my joke about whether they were charging me to sit in their overly air conditioned restaurant funny. I finally stopped attacking the cashier because I knew it wasn't his fault, took my overpriced sandwich and said to my mom, "I am blogging about this, TONIGHT!"

Once I got home my rage had subsided and I decided to do some research on my cellphone. Remember how I had to leave my laptop with Geek Squad? Turns out she was right! I don't know where my mom managed to find this information but she wasn't lying, restaurants like Yogurtland , Subway and basically all fast food chains are charging us an "eat in tax."

Days later I still don't get it. It's not like I make a mess, I'm not too loud, and I do my best to not use too many napkins. I thought I was a preferred customer?! Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe I just don't appreciate being lied to. While I obviously refuse to stop eating frozen yogurt and an occasional burger, I do refuse to pay some ridiculous tax that no one's ever even mentioned to me. Why wasn't this law written in my history books?! From now on let's make our orders to go, then sit down and enjoy our meals in their too-air-conditioned-restaurants anyways!


2

Being a Size Zero Doesn't Guarantee Happiness


I've always been a small girl. Not in the endearing way where I barely meet height requirements or have a petite personality. More in the way where belts are a necessity and my thighs don't touch. I am, and have as long as I can remember have been, a size zero.

When checking my email this week I received a message from Her Campus advertising their #LovingMe Project, which "celebrates the things we love about ourselves- unrelated to our physical appearance." It being National Eating Disorders Awareness Week I decided to write about a topic that is never spoken about yet experienced by so many women. So here I am, writing to the masses about why being a size zero doesn't guarantee happiness.

I've never had an eating disorder but I have been accused of having one many times in my life. Either by family, friends or medical professionals, it seems as if my life is a stream of situations where I've had to defend my choices to people who don't know me very well. Being a size zero doesn't mean you have zero problems, it can at times just mean people have zero interest in your problems.

There are the trivial reasons, the "problems" with being thin that sound so stupid once you see them written down. Issues that should probably be relabeled first world problems. You know, those things we like to complain about that cause us to roll our eyes moments after we say them aloud? Things such as size zero clothing hardly ever making it to the sale rack, stores like TJ Maxx barely stocking anything in our size and the all too common bloat we get from eating nothing more than a handful of chips. When your stomach is naturally flat, any food being in there likes to bloat you up. At least in my case. 

Then there are the actual downfalls to being a size zero, the thoughts and experiences that are silenced because according to others, "I should be grateful." The root of these issues can begin to grow early, before we even knew how to dress ourselves or attach stigma to different body types.

My childhood was filled with compliments. From my shiny hair to how "tiny" I was, I was always the topic of discussion. As I got older my hair lost its luster and all I had to rely on was the low number on the scale.

When you grow up thin people begin to expect thin from you. Friends and relatives are more likely to comment if they feel your body shape has changed, even though their comments at times are no more than a way for them to make themselves feel better.

Every thin girl will tell you how often people comment on her size. Somewhere along the way it became wrong to make comments about people with extra weight, yet blatant remarks about "how skinny you look" have become normalized. Acceptable. "Compliments."

There is a difference between complimenting someone on their weight when they are taking steps to try to change it versus making remarks on someone's body type. Thin girls don't choose to be thin just like heavy girls don't choose to be heavy, so why the double standard in the way they are treated?

When did it become okay to openly discuss how thin a girl is but disrespectful to mention a friend has gained weight? The girls who swallow their words and scroll past the "real men don't like bones" posts are the same girls who stand up for their larger friends. Where is the mutual support?

My senior year I fainted in class, was labeled anorexic and was found a therapist before the school day was over. Nobody bothered to ask my opinion, no one actually observed my eating habits. I wasn't anorexic in the least. I was a heartbroken seventeen year old, worried about my college applications and stressing over the D I had received on my Calculus exam. Food wasn't the problem, by that point, lunch was my favorite time of the day!

My entire life I had been silenced by everyone, finding it impossible to speak over everyone's remarks about my body. In therapy I finally let it all out. My worries about not having a prom date, my grades, my non existent relationship with my sister, and how sick I was about everyone assuming they could diagnose me without even speaking to me. Three sessions later my therapist deemed I didn't need her help or anyone else's, wished me good luck on finding a prom date and choosing a university to attend. Only one of those decisions ended up being the right one.

What I learned from being labeled anorexic is how "other" it can make you feel. Even though I was completely healthy, both physically and mentally, the way people treated me completely changed. Principals  pulled me out of class to see how I was "doing", teachers tiptoed around me and people who once chatted with me would turn silent when I walked into a room. Having an eating disorder or even being accused of having one makes you feel like you are on the outside of everything, because that's where people place you.

Being a size zero sometimes feels a lot like those weeks in high school where my classmates wouldn't even bother to whisper the rumors about me. To this day, friends will out of the blue remark on my waist, my thighs or how jealous they are. Yet they don't take a moment to realize how the words they say affect my perception of myself. If everyone is so jealous of me, I must do everything I can to stay skinny, right?

Size zeroes are silenced, laughed at and ignored when they speak about how their weight negatively affects them. When you have what everyone wants, complaining about it sounds ludicrous. Nobody stops to realize that we didn't ask for this and we sure as hell didn't ask for your opinions on the subject, positive or not. Being a size zero doesn't guarantee happiness. All you are guaranteed are a stream of comments on your body type and a lifetime of pressure to remain how everyone else perceives you. Skinny.
6

Stop Scrolling and Call Your Mom

Professional two tier cake for a 5 yr old's party?
But of course!!
Today's post was schedule to be about studying abroad (or traveling in general) and ways to figure out when the best time to pack up your bags and go was. Instead I've spent my entire day in a funk because I woke up to a text message letting me know that my mom had been in the hospital for days. A text message. This is what's wrong with our generation.

The rest of my day has been me having to explain my situation to total strangers my professors, attempting to finish all my assignments in an effort to not have to do any work while with my mom, and stressing out over the fact that my she has a tube in her throat. After informing my professors that I wouldn't be in class regardless of whether it hurts my grade (does anyone really ask for permission in situations like this?) and trying to do as much homework as possible, I realized tomorrow is Wednesday and I'm supposed to publish something on Wednesday. Crap.

I didn't feel like writing about studying abroad or boys or the things that annoy me, all I could think about was my mom sitting in that dull hospital room, so I decided that's what I'll write about, my mom. I read other blogs on a daily hourly basis and everyone gets personal from time to time. Maybe all the years I've written for Her Campus and Life at UCR have trained me to make my writing not about me, one contract I signed literally said to not make it about my personal life. But screw it, I started this blog to write about my life and the things I deal with on a daily basis, usually awkward moments but sometimes some really bad days.

Since today is a day I spent thinking about and talking to my mom constantly, I'm going to outline all the reasons why my mom is literally the best. In no real order, because I don't have the time or energy to think about it that deeply. To make up for it though, I've included some very cringe worthy photos to enjoy. 
Don't judge us! It was the 90s okay?!

» I woke up one morning in May 2010 and told my mom I would need her credit card to charge two hundred dollars. The reason: I was going to college 400 miles away and hadn't bothered to tell her I had even applied. I don't think she'd ever been more blind sighted. She let me use the card anyways

» When I was little I use to sometimes randomly wake up out of my sleep and vomit. We never quite figured out the reason. Regardless, I remember sitting in my bed, blanket covered in my vomit, screaming "Maaaaa!" at the top of my lungs until she came to my room. Why couldn't I just get up and at least get out of the vomit covered sheets? Because my mom was coming to my rescue obviously.
» My mom bought me at least half a dozen bikes even though I was always too scared to learn how to ride them. I couldn't ride a bike until I was 10 but that didn't stop my mom from buying me a new bike to motivate me.
» Every ten weeks my mom drives 400 miles south and then another 400 miles back north to pick me up and drop me off from school. And she has never complained once

» I've never had to have a job. I don't know what it feels like to work and go to school. Anything financial aid doesn't cover my mom takes covers without a second thought, whether that be groceries or a new interview outfit.

My sister, my embarrassing self and my mom. Probably taken in the parking lot of Sea World.
Notice the dolphin claw?
» I went to Disneyland so often that it's lost all glamour now. We also frequented Sea World and Six Flags often enough for me to know my way around the park. 
» My mom was amazing enough to let me experience so many different kinds of pets growing up. My cat Morris, too many turtles to count, a bunny rabbit, exotic birds, baby chickens, fish and handful of others I cant even remember. 

» I went trick or treating every single year. Always had presents under the tree. Holidays were always celebrated to the extreme and we have the albums full of photos to prove it. 

» I had a back yard with perfectly green grass, flowers my mom and dad would plant each spring, and one of those blow up pools that was perfect for embarrassing me who couldn't swim until my early teens.
» On my mom's rare days off from work during a school week, she would surprise me with a Happy Meal instead of the boring everyday school lunch she would usually pack me. I was the envy of everyone.
» Oh, and she also packed my lunch every day for six years. Whoa

» Even though my mom has been patiently waiting to hear the words, "I'm moving back home, " ever since I left to college, she has supported me completely during the time I spent studying in England and my upcoming trip to Washington DC. 

I didn't own a pair of jeans until middle school.
Explains my hatred for all things pants.
» She wasn't like all those other moms, she was a cool mom. A mom who never pressured me to wear a bra, spared me the embarrassing sex talk and never asked about the boys she caught me on the phone with.

» She raised me with the mindset that I could be anything I wanted to be. All I had to do is work hard in school and put myself first always. I'm the strong, independent, outspoken woman I am today because of my mom.

For all these reason and about a billion more I'm skipping my classes this week and racing home to sit next to my mom until she gets better. We'll most likely be the same awkwardly distant family we always are, never talking about anything too serious or showing un-sarcastic affection. Some of my best memories are just sitting on the couch with my mom and watching those horrible court shows she seems to love, hearing her rant about some new disease Dr.Oz warned her about and trailing after her with the grocery cart.

You should close your laptop and call your mom . But before you do, comment what makes your mom extra special too...
4

Things Men Will Never Understand


This past three day weekend was spent streaming old episodes of Law and Order SVU and writing enough cover letters to last me a lifetime. While I typed up the reasons why I am a candidate worth hiring, I listened to Elliot and Olivia argue about the usual stuff. Women's rights, religion and their thoughts on who was guilty. Somewhere in the middle of season 7 Olivia yelled at Elliot for never being able to possibly understand to know what it feels like to be a woman walking home alone late at night.

I paused the episode and got to thinking about the every day (or every month) struggles that men cannot and will never be able to relate to. Don't get me wrong, they have their own issues too, such as feeling the pressure to always make the first move. But things are changing, girls are more open to the idea of putting themselves out there. Soon the dreaded feeling of having to ask a girl out first will be gone. You know what will never evolve until it is gone forever? My uterus.

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Here are just a few of the things our dads, brothers, boyfriends and any random male on the street will never understand.

» Women's fashion making absolutely no sense. Besides the fact that you never know your size, we have to deal with shirts that are so thin we have to buy another shirt just to wear under it. I'm looking at you Hollister. Then there's the fact that shorts cost more than jeans, bras more than entire shirts, and underwear more than a tank. Underwear is a basic human right! Shouldn't you just get some free in the mail every few weeks?

» How you can be walking to class one minute, then feel like you were kicked in the vagina the next. And don't give me the cramps happen to both men and women argument, these are different! That cramp you got for not stretching properly does not equal the cramps females look forward to all month long. Five minutes of pain don't beat a week long marathon of fighting back whimpers. 

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» The sadness that comes with having to throw away your favorite pair of underwear. Life is so unfair sometimes!

» Spending money on pieces of cotton that will be thrown out in a few hours. Shouldn't we be able to claim this on our taxes or something? It's not like we want to spend all this money on these items!

» "Can you check me?" And then the agony while you wait to hear an answer. 

» Sitting in a bathroom stall sounding like you're opening a bag of potato chips. Everyone knows what you're doing yet you still try to be stealthy about it. 


Don't get my started on the awkward "I want a bra" talk...
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» Bras. How much they cost. How the cute ones never fit just right while the well fitting ones only come in bland colors. Yet another expense I should be able to declare on my taxes, like a child, only we need them support us not the other way around.

» Pap smears. 'Nuff said.

» The ability to give birth is amazing, but it also hurts like a b*tch. You can of course get an epidural, who can say no to a nice shot in the spine and being virtually paralyzed from the waist down?

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» Cat calls. Nobody likes them, everyone hates you for doing them. 

» Receiving messages on Facebook from people in foreign countries requesting your "friendship." 


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» Waxing. Virtually everywhere besides the hair on our scalp. We save those strands for hair styling tools that get as hot as 450 degrees Fahrenheit.

» Being called "crazy" for having emotions. Sorry for not being a sociopath.

» The look people give you when you tell them you don't wash your hair every day. You would think you just said you torture kittens for fun.

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» That dreaded high school teacher who wouldn't allow us to use the restroom. Like hello? Do you want to be charged with my death? Cause of death: toxic shock syndrome. 

» Walking into a new store and not knowing your size. Our clothing sizes aren't as practical as men's. I'm probably an XXL in American Eagle while an XS in Forever 21. Logic? There is none.

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» And finally, how we can dislike someone without every formally having met them. It's an intuition thing okayyy??
2

What Am I Doing With My Life? Valentine's Day Edition

What Am I Doing With My Life? is a weekly segment where I recap all the things I spent my week reading, watching and listening to. Think of it as a weekly link roundup but better, because it has a much more adorable name... 


Today is Valentine's Day, a holiday I look forward to almost as much as Halloween. The candy goes on sale, everything covered in pink and red, plus, who doesn't love a day all about love? Single or not, I can appreciate someone stepping up I don't know how many years ago and deciding this holiday should exist.

Besides all the candy and cheesy cards, I am obsessed with all the content that is published around this time of the year. From why it's okay to be single to ideas for gifts to make your significant other (or yourself). For the past two weeks all I've been reading about is love, both bitter (yet hilarious) ecards and stories of people who met decades ago and are still just as crazy about one another.

Because of my love for the day all about love, I have a ton of links to share. From cards to send your single friends to a love story starring a flufly chicken and two legged chihuahua. I mean, I am all about diversity ya'll.

What you might have missed while you were out having a life:
  • Before anything, get on Google right now and prepare to hear the most adorable one minute stories. 
  • Love comes in all shapes and sizes...and species? Either way, I'm crazy about the friendship between this fluffy chicken and two legged chihuahua. Click here, you wont be disappointed. 
  • Still not so patiently waiting for the second season of Orange is the New Black? In the meantime you can take a quiz to see which character would be your ideal valentine! (My ideal Valentine was Crazy Eyes. Chocolate and vanilla swiiiiirllll.)
  • Do you know those stuffed animals that line the shelves at Targets and drugstores? Here's an article from Buzzfeed that show's you what they're really thinking. 
  • NSFW or the easily offended. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner but a writer on College Candy decided to take comments of off videos from PornHub and turn them into Valentine's Day cards. I just had to share them, something this hilarious needs to go viral. 
  • Some of the most well known comedians giving advice on how to decode a text and how to tell if your significant other really loves you. 
  • Need to send some ecards? I've got you covered. Ecards for animal lovers, foodies, and those friends that always seem to side with the villain in Disney films. 
  • And finally, a list of what twenty somethings actually want for Valentine's Day. Candy is good too though!
What I spent my week doing:
  • This past weekend I wrote a recap on the first week of my February photo a day challenge. As I type, we've had over 700 submissions with more and more coming in each day! 
  • No date tonight? No problem! Here's a list of movies to watch on Valentine's Day that will make you appreciate your single status. 
  • While you're home alone watching a movie, make sure to not post any of these things on Facebook...unless you want to have a repeat of this year next Valentine's Day. 
  • I spent quite a bit of time on my Tumblr account. 
  • Last but not least, I hosted a Valentine's Day event on my campus yesterday where we made fleece tie blankets and had a cupcake decorating contest. Here are some of the amazing cupcakes I had a chance to photographs. 

0

11 Films That Will Make You Appreciate Your Single Status


For anyone who doesn't have "official" plans for this Valentine's Day, you are most likely going to spend your Friday night at home with snacks and stream a movie. (No judgement here, I'm hosting a game night.) I mean, the holiday does land on Friday the 13th, why test fate and venture outside.

I've never paid much attention to the television on Valentine's Day, but I can guess every network will be playing some type of romantic comedy as if the people who are at home watching TV need to be reminded that they are in fact NOT in a relationship. Any article you read around this time of the year will suggest that you don't watch a romantic comedy, or anything dealing with romance at all actually.

With the constant stream of articles that highlight how great it is to be single and why we should appreciate our freedom, I thought I'd compile a list of movies to watch on Valentine's Day that will make you happy you don't have a significant other. Films that will make you appreciate you sleep alone at night and answer to no one. (Besides our moms of course.)

Seriously one of her best films. Watch it! Source
1. Enough

This movie came out twelve years ago yet I can still to this day watch it and enjoy every moment. Jennifer Lopez in her prime, married to an abusive husband, who runs away to save herself and her daughter. This movie made me rethink the idea of marriage at the young age of 10, or at least reconsider every moving into the suburbs. (I feel like Lifetime movies always happen in the suburbs.)

Besides being amazing from beginning to end, it's the film that inspired this entire article. If you haven't seen it definitely set aside an hour and a half this weekend and watch this film!

The fight scenes in this film are all too relatable. Source
2. The Break Up

Finally a movie about love gone wrong that doesn't end with the couple getting back together, a lot like real life! The Break Up is a film that depicts what it actually feels like to have to move on from a relationship, especially from the position of having to see one another on a daily basis. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn finally captured the awkwardness, sadness and inevitable feeling of acceptance that comes with having to let go of someone you once cared about.

3. Monster in Law

Movies like Monster in Law and others that include in-laws (ie The Family Stone and Meet the Fockers) only make me more unwilling to want to be part of my significant other's family. I already have a family of my own, do I really have to grow to tolerate love another person's as well? Having to impress people who you are not in a relationship with and prove yourself worthy just seems like a lot of work, an extracurricular activity I'm just not all that invested in. Being single just cuts out all this unnecessary stress of having to always put your best foot forward.

This scene was everything. Source.
4. Sex and the City the Movie

Say what you want, but I loved the first Sex and the City movie. While my heart shattered into pieces when Mr.Big refused to get out of the car and Steve cheated on Miranda, the fact that Carrie's friends served as her support system throughout the broken engagement just made me realize that friendships are so much more valuable that relationships during certain times in your life.

Boyfriends cheat, lie, and hey, sometimes even steal. Sex and the City the Movie proved that no matter where you are in life, your friends will always be there to support you no matter the circumstances. Love comes and goes, but genuine friendships are truly worth fighting for.

5. Any teen horror movie EVER

Pick any teen horror movie. Friday the 13th. Nightmare on Elm Street. Halloween. One common factor fits all of these films, the people in relationships always die, and usually first. Whether they are out looking for one another or busy having sex, the relationship always leads them into situations where they are more vulnerable to be violently murdered. Remind me to never go camping with a boyfriend, especially not near a lake. Nothing good ever happens near a lake.

Bad things only happen in nice homes. Some of us don't have that problem. Source
6. Any paranormal movie EVER

As a single female living with another single female and both of us being women of color, I sleep pretty comfortably at night. I know that our status of "single" plus our pigmented skin means that during the night any strange noise we hear is definitely not some demon haunting us or paranormal entity trying to grasp our attention. How do I know this? When was the last time a single person, person of color, or broke college student ever starred in a paranormal film. Never

Every time I watch films like Paranormal Activity, Insidious, or The Conjuring I know something like that would never happen to me for multiple reasons. 
» Demons and spirits like attention, and I spend half of my time home alone streaming episodes on my laptop. I'm too busy drooling over Detective Elliot Stabler to notice my keys have been moved. Most of the time I don't know where I left my keys anyways. 
» Paranormal activity happens in homes! Like houses with multiple rooms, not my studio apartment that doesn't have so much as a living room area. 
» Being a twenty something I have this thing called a Twitter account, meaning I'd be live tweeting any paranormal activity happening in my life. I'm not really the suffer in silence type, ya'll know I'd be blogging about it. 
Okayyyyy. Source.
7. All Ryan Gosling films

What in life can make you more happy about being single than watching Ryan Gosling rip off his shirt? Having a boyfriend means you supposedly have eyes only for him, but I mean c'mon, it's Ryan Gosling!

Maybe in some alternate universe he'll break up with Eva Mendes and realize I'm his one true love. Probably not, but maybe

Plus your kids might turn out like this. Source
8. Knocked Up

"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!"
Okay maybe you won't die from getting pregnant, but your social life definitely will. No chance of getting pregnant when you're at home alone with a Julia Roberts film and a bowl of Cheetos Puffs. One of the few benefits of being on your own, no unplanned surprises. Even though Knocked Up was technically a comedy, I saw it more as a horror movie. She accidentally got pregnant, by a guy she has nothing in common with, his friends are weirdos and her professional career is suffering because of it. Kill me now please.

9. You're Next

While I don't want to spoil this movie because I think it was definitely under appreciated, this film will definitely leave you happy that you are not in a relationship. The film features a family dinner to honor the parent's anniversary, and all the sons and daughters bring their significant others to celebrate as well. Had they not been in that relationship they would have never gotten themselves into that predicament. This movie is definitely gory at times but the story line is so amazing you should definitely power through the blood and just enjoy the message. Trust me, if you are a fan of horror, you won't be disappointed. 
Rachel McAdams can do nothing wrong. Source
10. The Time Traveler's Wife

While The Time Traveler's Wife is a love story, it's one of those tragic love stories that leaves you thinking maybe they'd be happier apart. During one of those nights when your brain just wont turn off, I got to thinking about how lonely it is to be in a relationship. Sure you have someone to call your own but you don't know what real loneliness is (in my opinion) until you experience longing after someone. Nothing is more lonely than being in a relationship at times.

For this reason I included The Time Traveler's Wife on this list, because while it is a story about love, the overall plot made me feel that had I been in the situation, I would have just preferred to be alone with no one to miss in the spaces between seconds.

No. NO. No. Source.  
11. Frozen

The Disney film Frozen taught people young and old one lesson, don't trust anyone. At least that's why I gathered from it, plus these other life lessons which you can read here.

Frozen was the stereotypical love at first sight fairy tale, with an evil twist that reveals Hans was just out to steal Anna's kingdom and manipulated her during their entire two day relationship. People nationwide were stunned when Disney decided to get so real, for once, but at least children today will realize that a cute face and charming personality don't always signify good intentions.

Plus, the fact that Elsa ended the film as a queen with no hint of wanting a relationship was revolutionary compared to other classic Disney princesses. Who needs a man to boss around when you can rule an entire kingdom anyways?
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7 Things to NOT Post on Facebook on Valentine's Day


Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays you either love or hate, like New Year’s Eve. But if we’re being honest, the only people who hate either one of those holidays are the same people who pay for a yearlong subscription to Netflix in advance, because they know they won’t be making any plans any time soon.

I actually love Valentine’s Day the same way I love all holidays. Presents, color coded candy, decorations, and best of all, it all jumps to 40% off the next day at Target! Valentine’s Day sends single people into a slump with the mention of love at every drugstore in town, so while I understand the unhappiness of all the reminders that you are single, there are just some things that no person should do on this particular holiday.

With social media being all around us, people have come to believe it’s okay to share some of the most unnecessary information about their days. I’m talking to you Twitter. Save yourself the embarrassment when you wake up on the 15th and make sure to not post any of these things on single awareness day Valentine’s Day.
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1. DON'T be the person who rants about how Valentine’s Day was just created by card companies to sell chocolates and other useless junk.

» Everybody knows yet nobody cares.
» This argument is so overused it’s become meaningless, like YOLO.
» Last time I checked all those presents under the tree are not the true meaning of Christmas. You can't support consumerism for one holiday and not another.
» I like chocolate dammit, whether it’s a man with a beard or a naked baby!

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2. DON'T hate on happy couples. 

Why does everybody think it’s okay to be mean to happy people on Valentine’s Day, especially that new 2 month relationship where both partners still think they’re going to get married and have yet to have a real fight? Let them be ignorant and in love!
Very few couples abstain from celebrating Valentine’s Day, so more likely than not, if you were in a relationship you’d be Instagramming the roses your partner sent you too! Like the freaking photo and keep scrolling!

3. DON'T man bash. 

While you should never do this, you should especially not do this on Valentine’s Day. There’s only two rules to being single in February:

» Don’t ask someone out before the 14th
» And never go on a first date on Valentine’s Day

Because of these two rules, any guy that was remotely interested in asking you out once the chocolate hearts go on sale will definitely rethink it once he sees you post about how “strong-of-an-independent-woman-you-are-and-how-happy-you-are-to-be-single-since-these-are-the-years-you-need-to-live-your-life-and-any-guy-would-just-hold-you-back-anyways.

Don’t be this girl, this girl stereotypes half of the world’s population, plus, nobody likes this girl.

4. DON’T under any circumstance fish for plans. 

I’m not sure how to explain this point besides giving an example that constantly pops up on my Facebook news feed. The post always comes up no earlier than 10 PM. It says something along the lines of “What’s going on tonight?/What’s good?/Who’s trying to do something?” The worse part is almost always no...one...ever...replies.

Which leaves me uncomfortably looking at a post by someone begging for someone to hang out with. If you feel a desperate need to make plans, text your close friends. Private message people. Travel back to 2006 and use your phone to call someone! Just don’t be the person that asks 500+ people what’s going on that night and then doesn't get a single response. Unless a 'like' from your mom the next day counts as a reply in your book?

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5. DON'T share things no one wants to be reminded of. 

Relationship articles are this weird addiction I have, even though I am in no way in a relationship. (Unless you count the love affair with pizza. We're trying to end it.) Websites like Buzzfeed, Her Campus and College Candy publish daily listsicles about why it’s better to be single on Valentine’s Day, why you shouldn't be in a relationship in your twenties and how to have a singles only party. And even though I read these articles on a daily basis, I’m not buying it. I still would much rather prefer to spend this pink coated holiday with someone who loves me. I can't be alone in this, right?

While we all enjoy reading about how great it is being single, the reality is it’s even better to have someone to call your own. So save the Thought Catalog articles for topics that are less sensitive, or wait for a week when everyone isn't desperately hoping a stranger will admit their undying love for them.

6. DON'T post anything about an ex.

While you should commit to this rule suggestion year long, make an extra effort to hold back from referencing your former partner on Valentine’s Day. Any likes you receive will be from pity, plus any chance of the person thinking you are in any way sane will fly out the window.

Unless you’re a writer who can create a post that mentions them in an interesting/ambiguous way, steer clear of talking about exes on the day of love. Focus on yourself on this holiday, or at least on people who haven’t hurt you in the past 



7. DON'T post your feelings.

I too have a lot of feelings, so many that I at times rather just grunt rather than express myself with actual words. What I don’t do is go on Facebook, click the little smiley face, choose a feeling, then hit post. With no explanation!! Go bake yourself a cake of rainbows and smiles and eat it until all you can feel is FULL.
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What Am I Doing With My Life? 2.7.14

What Am I Doing With My Life? is a weekly segment where I recap all the things I spent my week reading, watching and listening to. Think of it as a weekly link roundup but better, because it has a much more adorable name... 


This week included a lot of laying in bed and generally avoiding any real work, which means I took a ton of quizzes on Buzzfeed and watched almost three full seasons of Law and Order SVU.

What you might have missed while you were out having a life:
  • Like any child of the 90s, I'm obsessed with everything Disney, especially Disney princesses. I was of course interested in what Disney couple was my ideal relationship (let's ignore the fact that I'm not even in a relationship). I got the exact results I wished upon a star for, my ideal Disney relationship is that of Prince Eric and Ariel's! You can take the quiz here, and make sure to comment your results!!
  • Another major throwback was a quiz I took to see what classic Disney Channel girl I was most like, and my wish came true again when I was matched with Hilary Duff's character Lizzie McGuire. I would have seriously questioned my identity with any other result. 
  • I decided to include this link after a conversation with my mom which turned into her yelling at me interrogating me about when I was going to get a job and "make the big bucks." I mean, can I at least graduate first?!
What I spent my week doing:
  • Over on Life at UCR, I wrote about the best FREE software for your laptop to help you ace your courses. 
  • In case you missed it, I wrote about being in a long distance relationship friendship. You can check it out here.
  • I participated in The Hippie Run and got featured in their promotional Flipagram video. 
  • Most of my week was spent reposting images for my February photo a day challenge. It's not to late to take part in it for a chance to win the prize. 
  • I'm about a decade late but I made a Twitter account finally. You can follow me here! (And maybe leave a link to your Twitter account, I literally follow like 10 people only.)
  • Oh, and let's not forget to mention all the awesome things I reblogged all week along. 
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Liebster Award


Hey everyone, turns out I've been nominated for the Liebster Award! For those of you who don’t keep a blog yourself, let me explain exactly what the Liebster Award is.

There’s no ribbon or certificate sent to you through the mail(sadly), it’s actually an award where bloggers nominate other bloggers with a following of 200 or less, to help them gain recognition and make friends in the blogging community. And since this blog is about a month old, it definitely fits the requirement of a pea sized following.

Once you are nominated you must nominate up to 11 bloggers, answer the 11 questions your nominator asked, and state 11 facts about yourself. (I’m not quite sure where the obsession with the number eleven came from.) Oh, did I mention you also get to ask the people you nominate questions too?!

Since I was fortunate enough to be nominated by not one but two lovely bloggers, I’ll be answering a total of 22 questions, I’ll limit my random facts to eleven though because in reality I could talk about myself forever, but nobody wants that.

Thank you again to Jay and Jackie for nominating me, and be sure to check out their blogs after this!

Unofficial Fact: I'll pose for a photo literally anywhere,
including train tracks. 
  1. I've never tried a lot of foods that most people love like cake, donuts, and Starbucks. 
  2. I went to a high school with a large graduating class but I've only kept in touch with 3 people. All boys, all jerks to me in that I-love-you-so-I-can-insult-you-without-you-being-offended-kinda-way
  3. I've never dated a “stranger.” Every boyfriend I've ever had was a friend of mine. 
  4. I didn't cry when I left to study abroad but I cried the entire flight home. 
  5. Speaking of crying, sometimes I schedule times of the day to cry. I’m a bit of a control freak so if I’m going to break down I’d like to at least decide when. 
  6. Since high school I've dreamed of moving to Seattle to study and work. I’m not sure why, it’s just this feeling I can’t explain that just tells me I need to move there. 
  7. I don’t cry during movies, but Law and Order SVU episodes are an entirely different story. 
  8. I have never drank or smoked, for a million different reasons but mainly because I’d never want to disappoint my mom like that. 
  9. I've also never worn makeup. I was luckily blessed with clear skin, so thanks genetics! (But it's mostly due to laziness.)
  10. I prefer to shop alone. I have to look at everything so people are constantly rushing me, plus it’s therapeutic to just shop with your headphones on. 
  11. I started writing when I was 12 years old about a boy. Nine years later I’m still writing about boys, just from a slightly less optimistic perspective. 


1. What is your must have/go to beauty product?
Since I technically don’t own makeup does chap stick count? The study abroad office where I volunteer has these chap sticks that have the same consistency as Soft Lips, and I have been periodically stealing taking some.

2. Why did you start your blog?
I’m a chapter writer for Her Campus UCR, but since I am technically off the team once I graduate in June I decided I needed to start a blog of my own. I miss how many page views I used to get on my Her Campus content but at least here I have complete control over what I write.

3. What is your favorite quote?
It changes from time to time, but at the moment it’s, “Don’t let someone dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes.”

4. If you had to eat only one dish for the rest of your life what would it be?
Since I am literally the pickiest eater you will ever meet/talk to, my favorite dish is super dull. I would be completely content eating white rice and chicken breast for the rest of my life. Boring, I know.

5. What is your most prized possession?
Does my wardrobe count? When I look through my closet I can just see how I've changed through time.

6. Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give your 13-​​year-​​old self?
I would definitely tell 13 year old me that everyone I was so worried about not embarrassing myself in front of would be irrelevant in a few years. I was so worried about making sure everyone liked me that I never bothered to think if I even wanted to be their friends. Turns out I didn't.

7. What is your dream career?
My dream career is to be a psychologist and write self help-ish books for youth on relationships, body image, friends, stuff like that. Our teenage years are the “hardest” years of our lives, so I definitely want to write something to let everyone know it gets a million times better.

8. Do you have siblings?
I have one sister that is seven years older than me. She’s kind of the reason I got into writing. I used to read her magazines when she wasn't around and it got me addicted to this type of writing.

9. Who would you choose to play you in a movie?
I don’t have a favorite actress, but based off what people tell me maybe Emma Roberts? Plus I fell in love with her on this season of American Horror Story.

10. Who is your favorite fictional character?
Is it lame to say Bella from Twilight? I get everyone wants to be smart and independent like Hermione, but in reality can’t we can all relate to being vulnerable and desperate for someone’s love like Bella was? Screw it, Bella it is.

11. Whats your favorite candy?
Oh gawd, this is so difficult for me. The love I lack for food I make up for in candy. I love anything sour, the more it hurts my tongue the better! Fun Dips are heaven on earth, but then again you can never go wrong with sour gummy worms.

JAY from MIND OF MCSHORTY'S QUESTIONS

1. Where are you from?
I currently live in Riverside, California but I’m from Watsonville, California originally. I love Northern California about a thousand times more.

2. Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging my second year of college. I religiously read blogs and was going through a breakup so I decided I had things to say too that were worth reading, so I applied to write for Her Campus and that’s how it all started!

3. Why is your favorite pet your favorite?
My favorite pet was my cat Morris. She was bought right when I was born so I virtually grew up with her. She was the sweetest cat, never scratched me once and paid attention to me constantly. The day she died I remember my sister took me to McDonalds because my mom knew I would loose my appetite once I heard the news.

4. What is one movie you know all the lines to?
The Grinch! I don’t care if it’s July or December, I’m always down to watch that movie. I prefer the Jim Carrey version but either one is amazing.

5. What's your "sad" song? (Everyone has a song they listen to when they're sad! lol)
It changes often but for the past year it’s been Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well.” The line, “You call me up again just to break me like a promise/ So casually cruel in the name of being honest/ I’m a crumpled of piece of paper lying here, because I remember it all too well,” just makes me relive my worst break up like nothing else. I try to make sure it doesn't play too often.

6. Whose life would you trade places with if you could?
I’d like to be the president for a day(or week). Up until I was thirteen I was serious about wanting that to be my career, then I figured out it was just a popularity contest and gave up on that dream.

7. What's your "go-to" hairstyle?
I have one hairstyle, straight. It’s been working for the past 21 years so if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

8. Do you have a guilty pleasure?
If I’m ever having a bad day I come home and watch either Law and Order SVU or Spongebob Squarepants. Something about those shows just make me feel better.

9. Why did the chicken cross the road? (No seriously)
Probably because whoever was walking in front of them was walking too damn slow, at least that’s why I cross the street.

10. When did you have your first kiss?
Officially, either at five or six years old. Tongue and everything. Unofficially I wasn't 13 until my next one. (Unless you count the girl I kissed when I was 8.)

11. Favorite cookie?
I only like one type of cookie (remember the I hate food part?). Chocolate chips cookies are my all time favorite.

»What shows are you addicted to at the moment?
»What’s your favorite form of social media (ie Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc) and why.
»If you could travel to any one country, where would you go and why?
»What is the favorite thing you’ve ever written. Link it please!
»What’s your favorite holiday and why?
»If you could switch lives with any performer, who would it be?
»How do you come up with ideas on what to write about?
»What are some of your pet peeves?
»It’s Friday night, what are you honestly doing?
»Favorite childhood television show.
»Can you explain the name of your blog.
Check out their websites to see what awesome content they come up with!

»Jessica from A Cup of Jessica
»Hima from Hima Hearts
»Harper from Harper Honey
»Kat from Kat Katastrophe
»Catherine from La Reine Fashion
»Melissa from Imaginative Escape
»Levina from To Infinity and Back
»Maseeha from Fashion at its Fall
»Lauren from Lauren Elyse Can
»Sami from Sparkle and Shine
»MO from Ollivander Mo
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Signs You're in a Long Distance Friendship


I left for college immediately after I graduated from high school. I packed up all my clothes and piles of dorm decorations, hopped in the truck and drove 9 hours away from everything and everyone I knew. While the decision to go to school far from home wasn't difficult for me to make, I never realized how different my college experience would be because of it.

My junior year of college I studied abroad in the United Kingdom. I made so many friends from all over the world, but at the end of my program I had to fly home with the realization that I just might never see them again. (At least not in person.)

College is a time when you are pulled in a million different directions. Your mother might be like mine, constantly asking when are you going to graduate and move back home already.

College friends will work to convince you to stay in the area once graduation rolls around, while anyone who has ever studied abroad can relate to wanting to go back to the place where we were our happiest.

I've recently reconnected with a friend from high school that I hadn't spoken to in three full years! Thanks to Instagram and my new addiction to Snapchat, our friendship is as strong as the days when I didn't yet have boobs and he had yet to lose the baby fat. With my rekindled friendship, connections I've made while abroad and living so far from home, I can completely relate to the feeling of being a long distance relationship friendship.

Here are some of the symptoms signs to help you figure out if you're in the same boat as me. 


You can list the pros and cons of Skype, Google Hangouts, Oovoo and Facetime....

and if you use any of these often enough you realize that Google Hangouts is by far the best.

Small details about your day are never too small to share with your friend. 

All crucial information about my day.
Movie nights over a computer screen don't sound crazy to you. Instead you look forward to them!

You have at least once dozed off while talking to one another...

or cooked, done laundry, and/or homework together.

Your Snapchat is dominated by their name.


You talk to them more than the friends you share a zip code with.

You discuss visiting each other soon, even if soon is so far away.

If Snapchat says you're best friends, it must be true, right?


Constantly trying to convince them to move in your general direction.

Study parties! Though not much studying gets done.

You'll try writing letter or sending postcards, until one of you miserably fails


A lot of your talks are about things you rather not bring up from the past...

like embarrassing exes, that person you both couldn't stand in school, or some local cuisine you discovered together.

You may not know their friend's names, but you have a story associated with every one of them.

Friend 1: “What guy? Oohh the one whose kitten you killed.”

Friend 2: “Yeah that's him!”

We're not all good with names...
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True friendship is bullying them into watching your favorite shows.

Pants? They've been off since you answered their call.

You support whatever they are doing from a distance. If you can’t be there to buy them ice cream you will at least Facebook stalk with them. Friends don't judge

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This is said at least once during your conversations, “Hold on, I have to pee.

You can not talk for days, weeks (years!) at a time, but when you do it's like no time has passed at all.

You're jealous of people who have their best friend so close by. 

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And on bad days, you're jealous of people who get to hang out with your best friend.

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You have a preferred method of communication. Calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, hey, maybe even Snapchat!

Besides your mom, they’re literally the only person you actually talk to on the phone.



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