Why You Should Never Call A Woman Crazy


Throughout my life I've been in a lot of relationships. From some that only lasted a few weeks to others that spanned years. Having been dating since I was 13 years old, I feel as if I have a pretty good understanding of the opposite sex. While I'm not man whisperer and no one texts me good morning on a regular basis, I've shared enough experiences with boys and men to know what I expect in a relationship.

Despite all the men I've called a boyfriend in the past, my most recent love (or should I say heartbreak) was the most adult relationship I've ever had. And even though we were both in our twenties, the way we spoke to one another did not reflect that.

Calling a woman crazy is the most accepted form of insulting a woman today. The moment a woman shows a man too much attention, sends one too many texts or says one opinion too many she is suddenly labeled crazy, hysterical or psycho. The actions that led her to these emotions are never judged, she bears the burden of having feelings and is punished for expressing them.

For months I was called crazy, all so that my boyfriend at the time could feel okay with calling me a list of other things that make crazy feel like a compliment. Never mind I was acting crazy because I felt hurt, betrayed,  and disrespected. I was the one acting crazy, therefore I was the one in the wrong.

It's common knowledge that women are more comfortable expressing their emotions, not all, but most. Guys have been socialized by society to hold it all in, suppress their feelings rather than be labeled weak. The problem with this is that once you enter into a relationship with someone so out of tune with their emotions, any sign of feelings is labeled an overreaction.

Calling a woman crazy does a lot of things, but most of all it silences her. As she continues to try to prove her point, explain her feelings or express her frustrations, she is only digging herself into the whole she's been pushed into. The moment you are labeled crazy is the moment everything that comes out of your mouth is irrelevant. Crazy people don't make valid arguments. Crazy people don't have a clear perspective of the situation. Therefore calling a woman crazy leads her down a path where no matter what she says, she's wrong and you're right. She's out of control and you're an angel for putting up with it all.

As I write this I'm remembering I fight I had with my former boyfriend a few weeks ago. It was prefaced by a long day at the office followed by an equally long night at the bar. I should note it was most likely a Tuesday, which is what led to me suggesting we head home before it turned into Wednesday. Something I said was taken the wrong way and next thing I knew I had been roped into another one of our pointless arguments. In the midst of my crying and trying to convince the man across from me that I didn't mean anything by what I had said, he turned to me and flat out asked me if I was bipolar.

This coming from a man who has no experience in the mental health field. Asking me, a woman getting a masters in clinical mental health if I was bipolar felt like a slap across the face. Me, bipolar? No. I was simply angry that once again the situation had gotten larger than the both of us, and like always, he was unwilling to see it from my perspective.

Calling a woman crazy is the most acceptable way to patronize the woman you love. Or even worse, one who simply is trying to get to know you better. Women are silenced every day by the fear of not wanting to seem out of control, and we are constantly reminded of the consequences we will face if we speak out of line.

I may not be able to change the way we all relate to one another during difficult moments in our life, but as a single woman in her twenties I can control the way in which I allow others to speak to me. Starting today I make a vow to say whatever the hell I want, regardless of how crazy it may seem to other person. I refuse to apologize for having emotional reactions. I cant wind back time and tell my former boyfriend that I wasn't acting crazy, I was simply trying to understand a situation. I cant make him understand how the threat of his words silenced me so many nights. What I can do, along with everyone reading this, is speak my mind regardless of how it will be perceived. As a woman I unconsciously shrink myself in so many ways, the least I can expect is someone to respect my feelings enough to not label them foolish.



Have you ever been labeled crazy by current or former boyfriend? How do you cope with sometimes not being able to prove your point without being labeled as out of control?

12 comments

  1. I've never been called crazy, but I have been called over emotional, emotionless, and too independent for my own good. I really hate when they say "Why are you making a mountain out of a mole hill?" or "It's not that big a deal!"

    If I have something to say, I just say it, but I'd be lying if I said the way a guy responds doesn't affect our relationship or how much I filter my words in the future.

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    1. I would be a millionaire if I had a dollar for every time someone called me emotional! Millionaire! I dont get how people are cool with using it as an insult though, like sorry for having feelings??

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  2. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that! You deserve to find someone who would never even think to use that word.

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    1. No worries, after about a day of staring at the wall I definitely felt 100% better :)

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  3. Ugh, I hate it when I get called crazy. My typical retort is "I'm not crazy, you just drive me crazy." Which really doesn't help either. Grrr.

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    1. Yesssss, do these people think we just wake up feeling this way?? Unfortunately saying they are the ones driving us crazy just leads to people pointing the finger back at us. Whatever.

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  4. i have never been called crazy but i have dated crazy guys!!

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    1. oh I've dated actually crazy people, not like oh I dont like you so now I'm going to call you crazy. I dated this guy for a bit who would knock on my apartment door at 4am and wonder why I didn't want to let him inside.

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  5. I think there are times when I need more assurance, am more emotionally volatile or easily upset. I recognize when I am in one of these moods and if I need more or less space... and my partner responds appropriately! Communication really helps.

    7% Solution

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    1. I definitely agree that if you lack communication it only makes the problem worse, plus taking time to yourself is sometimes all you need to feel better

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  6. I had an ex call me crazy after we broke up because I was so devestated by the break up, and I'm not really sure what all I did. But that *did* cause me to become irate and take out my hurt in really unhealthy manners. I agree with you, calling a woman crazy silences her. I believe this is what guys say when they're feeling bad and need to push the other person down because they don't know how to deal with emotions.

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    1. it's definitely a word they use to minimize the other person's side and be able to walk away feeling like they did nothing wrong. Like, "oh I cant talk to her, shes's being crazy." Like umm no, it's called having feelings you robot.

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