22 Things That Happen When You Live Alone

Living alone was one of the few times when I felt like I was really growing up. Dorming was fun and the independence I had was great, but I was never truly alone. I had an RA to take care of me when I got locked out and an amazing dining hall staff to cook me breakfast, lunch and dinner. (Never mind that I always slept through breakfast.)

This past summer I finally lived alone, truly alone. Away from all my friends. Not in the type of apartment complex that constantly has someone on staff in case I lock myself out of an emergency. I had a two bedroom apartment all to myself and I finally realized what Taylor Swift meant about it being a little colder than I thought it would be.

Like with everything there are pros and cons to living alone, and even though I loved the part where I didn't have to wear pants, I certainly don't think I'm ready to be in charge of checking the locks every night. Here are the 22 things you can expect to happen when you live alone.

1. You will lose weight. A combination of forgetting to buy groceries, over reliance on dining halls and your mom forgetting to remind you to eat.

2. The floor will become your hamper. Before you have company you have to pick up the piles of clothes that have accumulated next to your shower.

3. Pants are optional, unless you have company. Then I’m sure you will have some lying right where you took them off when you got home, the front door.

4. You don’t invite people over as often as you thought you would.

5. You’ll find yourself turning into your mom. Checking and rechecking the locks on all the door and windows every night.

6. Buying some sort of weapon is standard. That or adopting a large enough rock to crack skulls with chuck at someone in case of emergency.

7. Dance parties can and will happen at all times of the day and night.

8. Eventually you will forget to pay some bill. I can't decide what’s worse, forgetting to pay for the internet or heating.

9. Days (or weeks) without social interaction will lead you to friend some bug or rodent in your home. You think I’m crazy now but wait until you find yourself talking to a spider.

10. You will eventually pee with the door open. Not at first, but eventually, you’ll wonder why you ever closed the door.

11. You will seriously consider getting a pet. The kittens at the pet store are only 40 dollars, that’s like one trip to Target!

13. ..and buy a fish! So low maintenance, super loyal.

But it dies. Fish always die, don't blame yourself too much.

14. Remembering to buy groceries long after you run out of food.

15. Half of your food spoils when you do buy it anyways.

16. Marathon sessions of watching your favorite old TV shows.

17. You sometimes forget to buy the boring everyday stuff, like toilet paper and dish soap.

18. And when you do buy toilet paper it never quite makes it to the thing that’s supposed to hold it in place.

19. You will never find a fork/spoon when you need it. But don’t worry, you somehow have about 20 butter knives.

20. No more waiting for your roommate to get out of the shower when you have to pee!

21. No more compromising on what you want to watch on TV! Embrace your right to watch Lockup Raw. All. Day. Long.

22. And best of all, no more passive aggressive notes scattered throughout your apartment. Everything is your fault anyways.

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  1. This is so accurate. I just started living alone this year. Don't ever close the door, I do have a pet already (dog!) &my food is basically always rotting.

    1. I've completely given up on buying bread, I swear it goes bad in days!!

  2. This is hysterical! I have a roommate now, but I could totally see myself doing all of these things when I live alone someday. Awesome!
    xx Alissa

  3. Hey, Im in a lost situation at the moment. Im living at home but dont know if/when to move out, I tried a houseshare for a week and failed miserably!! Any advice for a living alone newbie?

  4. This is so accurate. I got a cat, I compulsively check the locks, and my groceries spoil 90% of the time

    1. Yes to the groceries always spoiling! I dont understand how they always go bad when I cant stop eating!