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Finishing Grad School + How to Stay Motivated

Last week was registration, which means everyone on my campus woke up early to get online by 8am sharp. With classes being so small at my university, space is seriously limited. Thankfully I was able to get all the courses I needed, even though I slept in way more than I had planned. Whose bright idea was it to make class registration the Monday after daylights saving?

In the moment I didn't put much thought into the process, mostly focused on grabbing the classes I needed and calculating how much this semester was going to cost me. Hint: a lot. Another hint: don't bother with the whole, "I'm gonna save money for grad school then apply," cause it will never happen. Okay maybe it can, but not in just a couple of years.

Later in the week I realized I couldn't remember what classes I needed to make sure I enrolled in for fall, so after spending some time looking for the academic catalog for my program, I realized what I had been missing all along.

You might also like:  All the Important Things My First Year of Grad School Taught Me

Holy shit balls. I might not have said this out loud, but it's exactly how I was feeling. There was no next semester. There was no next time registration comes around. This was it. Almost three years and a whole bunch of jobs and tears laters, I was at the end of my grad program.

I'm not sure if you've caught any of my grad school posts before, but graduate school has not been a fun experience for me. With my program being discontinued. having to survive financially in the city, and adjusting to life without a support system, grad school was a thing I felt like was never gonna end. Which is maybe why I forgot I was almost at the finish line.

Apparently if I am able to earn all my hours with my clients by August 27th, I'm done! As in, put on a cap and gown and walk across the stage done! This piece of reality has lit a serious fire under my ass and motivated me in a way I didn't think was possible midway through spring semester. If you're feeling the lull of winter not ending or the next three day weekend being too far away, below are some ways I keep motivated to power on through the hard parts.

Practice self care

Rubi three years ago didn't need self care. She spent her time eating anything she wanted without gaining weight and napping at her convenience. Rubi today does the same thing, except the weight gain causes her to get inside her own mind and shit goes wrong from there. Self care is so important, especially if you work a job or have a lifestyle where so much of your day is taken up by other people and tasks that don't directly benefit you. Set aside some time in the morning for self care, and check out my Pinterest board for a never ending list of ideas of how to practice self care in your twenties.

Set a reward to your goal

This is something I've been doing since I was like eight years old, and trust me, it works. Whether you just need to finish an assignment or something bigger like graduate college, designating a reward helps keep you motivated until the end. In my case, I always choose a trip, whether it be a weekend getaway or international vacation. My reason for always choosing a trip is because you get to plan it, which is a self care activity in my opinion.

Make yourself accountable

Goals are 150% more likely to be reached if you tell someone about them. Okay, I just made that up, but it sounds real, right? Telling your best friend or boyfriend about what you're working on not only makes you accountable to them, they can help keep you on track when you start slacking. For example, if you wanna drink less nights out of the week, telling your bestie or boyfriend gives them the opportunity to remind you of your goal and prevent them from tempting you in the first place.

You might also like: A 10 Step Plan on How to Have Your Best Year Ever

Create a motivational playlist

Remember when playlist lived on CDs that we burned at home and labeled with sharpie markers? Well today they are way easier to make, so why doesn't anyone make them anymore? Jump onto Spotify, pull a bunch of your favorite songs from the past ten years, and only play that playlist when you need motivation! This way you won't be bored of them when you need them, and they'll feel like a special treat when you do get to hear them.

Don't push too hard

Back to my school situation. I started my grad program well over two years go. Life circumstances, aka money, made me have to switch to a slower track towards graduation. Sure, I probably could have made it happen in less time, but I would have been miserable. If you come to realize you need extra time or to even reframe your goal, don't feel bad about it. Works towards what works for you, cause at the end of the day, you should enjoy the journey just as much as the end result.

Have you started or completed a grad program? If so, how was the process for you or what are you most nervous about?? Let me know in the comments below!

PS You can now sign up for the weekly newsletter below for tips, resources and motivation to make the most of your twenty something years. 

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How to Move on From a Relationship Without Closure

I've said it one and I'll say it a hundred times more, breaks up are fucking hard. Worse than exams, more painful than doing your taxes, way more terrible than blowing an interview for a job you totally wanted. Doesn't matter how long you were together and if the two of you were never meant to be, they suck through and through and anyone who denies it is a liar.

The good part is, that feeling does't last forever, even though it may feel like it might. If you've ever been through a breakup you know the typical stages of finally admitting it's happening, saying the words, then slowly going your own way? But what if you just skip all that? What if the terrible feeling is just multiplied because the whole breakup was a total surprise to you? Or worse, there's no closure!

Girl, I get it. If I could have minored in anything in college it would be in minor in bouncing back from relationships I probably should have never been in. The worst type of breakup is the kind that leaves you hanging, for an explanation, a final goodbye, or just a fucking apology.Everyone deserves closure, a moment to tell someone how much it all meant to them, to express their hurt and wish each other well despite it all. Unfortunately not every gets this basic human right, because anyone who has ever been hurt knows that relationships are never fair. One person always gives more, compromises more, loves more.

You might also like: 10 Things That Happened the Day I Realized I Didn't Love You Anymore

So how are you just supposed to move on with life like nothing ever happened, even when it feels as if you're life has come to a dead halt? If you're feeling this way, you may still be hanging onto the hope that closure will come, but sometimes, it just doesn't.

And if it does, I'm sure it will come at a time when you've managed to pick up the pieces and move on with life. But right now, you're probably looking for a way to pick yourself off the bed, so while this might not fix the hurt it can at the very least be the first step to moving on from a chapter that not only ended badly, but never truly wrapped up the story line.

Accept the situation.

Coming to terms with the fact that your relationship is the most difficult part, especially when a big part of you wants to call, text and email them until you get some sort of response. Once you've moved past the point of denial, letting your new status settle in your mind is a big step towards moving on with your life.

Breaking down is necessary

If you bottle it up it will all burst out of you at the worst moment, like on the subway home when you see a couple happily carrying groceries home. Avoid unnecessary triggers by feeling all your emotions at once. Call a friend, call an acquaintance, call anyone who will let you vent and cry for as long as you need. While some people say you need to stay strong I'm a strong advocate of letting yourself mourn the end of a relationship.

You might also like: 100 Things to Do Instead of Calling Your Ex Boyfriend

Write it all down

This may be completely strange but since I was fourteen I've taken the time to document each breakup, diary style. Writing down how you feel in the moment, what words were said in anger and the last words exchanged are all valuable steps to take. There will come a time when you forget the small details and begin to fantasize about all the best moments, but having in writing the way you felt when it was fresh will prevent you from making the same mistake twice.

Get angry, fast!

You know how I said you need to break down? Well you cant lay on the kitchen floor forever, I mean cmon, it's not like you cut someone's lvad wire. Once youre done crying it out for a few days and chronicling your failed love story, turn all that sadness into anger because you're about to give yourself a kick in the ass. Remind yourself of every annoying thing they did, unfair argument they used and all the times they just let you down. I'm serious, you better get in touch with your bitter side if you're gonna make it through this.

Change your environment

Chances are that you fell into a routine with your significant other, and their absence is going to lead you to miss all the things you used to do together. Move your furniture around, toss out any unnecessary reminders of them and start visiting places that are covered in memories of the two of you. Trust me, eventually you can go back to your favorite bar, but for now stick to places that wont leave you reminiscing.

You might also like: 8 Reasons to Block Your Ex Boyfriend on Social Media

Build your community

We're all guilty of neglecting our friends when a new boy comes into our lives, and thankfully they are always there for us when said boy ends up being just temporary. Surround yourself with people who love you while also making an effort to meet new people. Having people to call on during those lonely days and long weekends without plans will be so beneficial to moving on.

Define what closure means to you

Closer means something different to everyone. To me, I need a conversation to flesh out why things went the way they did. But I'm a therapist, so you could say I enjoy talking for hours about less than happy things. Figure out what closure what be to you if you could have it, and once you know, give it to yourself. If you wanna have a talk, grab a friend and do that with them. If you need a reason, make a list of all the things that made you less than a perfect pair. Define what closure means, get what you can, then begin to heal and learn for your next love, cause there will be a next love.

PS you can now sign up for the weekly newsletter that's jam packed with tips, resources and motivation to help you make the most of your twenty something years. Signing up takes seconds, so make sure you're on the list.

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How to Organize Your Inbox in 5 Minutes or Less, Seriously!

I am so guilty of signing up for email lists that I am not interested in long term. Think of giveaways, volunteer opportunities, and things that were relevant to me four years ago. I'm looking at you homecoming lineup announcements. eye emoji

Whether one of your goals for the new year was to get rid of clutter or you just cant find that coupon code you swore you marked important, your inbox shouldn't be something that stresses you out on a daily basis.

If you tried to clean out your inbox manually it would take hours, and aint nobody got time for that. The easiest way to clean your inbox and KEEP it that way is to get rid of all those automated emails you're just not interested anymore, but who the hell wants to scroll to the bottom of ever annoying email and click unsubscribe. Definitely not me.

There's an easier way, and if you haven't ever heard of it, prepare to be in love.

Unroll.me. Basically the thing that let's me know we are officially living in the feature. One small little website/algorithm/too complicated for me to understand computer machine that will let you unsubscribe for a bunch of newsletters all at once, no digging through your inbox necessary.

Using the program is pretty simple, but if you wanna see it in action, keep scrolling to watch me get rid of all the clutter in my inbox.

Also, would this be a bad moment to mention that you can now sign up for my weekly newsletter? Probably huh? Well oh well, since I mentioned it, you can now sign up for my weekly newsletter. Once a week, no fluff, no trying to sell you anything. Just a bunch of tips, resources and motivation to help you make every day of your twenties (and beyond) better than the last. Okay, I'll step off my soap box now and get to the good stuff.

Step 1:
Visit Unroll.me and at the bottom of the page click 'Sign up.' 

Step 2:
Type in your email. Make sure this email is the one you'd like to clean out, then click the box agreeing to the terms. 

Step 3:
You'll be taken to a page where Unroll.me will ask for permissions. It seems like a lot but I've never had any issues with this email address being hacked or receiving spam. 

Step 4:
Now the system will begin to scan for all your subscriptions. It works so quickly that I wasn't able to take a photo of it while it was at 0. The length of time this takes depends on how much you're subscribed to, but mine lasted no longer than one minute. 

Step 5:
Once all subscriptions are found, you'll be asked to continue. I had a total of 116 subscriptions found, which is probably the reason I cant keep up with my emails anymore!

Step 6:
This is where the fun starts! Your subscriptions are listed alphabetically, with the options to add to rollup, unsubscribe or keep in inbox. What I typically do is either unsubscribe or nothing at all, meaning you don't need to choose "keep in inbox" to continue receiving the emails. 

Step 7:
Once you unsubscribe from a few you'll get this pop up. To extend your limit you can choose to share to Facebook or Twitter. 

Step 8:
This is the tweet I posted to extend my limit. You control what is says as well as have the option to delete it later. You can follow me on Twitter @rarerubi!

Step 9:
You'll automatically be taken back to the page once you share a post. From here you can continue to unsubscribe from subscriptions. The blue bar on the top of the page is what pops up when you hit unsubscribe. 

Step 10:
Once you're down sorting through your list, you'll have a count of how many you unsubscribed from, and added to your rollup. From here you can click continue to finish the process.

Step 11:
Once done it gives you a final breakdown, with another option to share with friends. All that's left to do is click finish!

Step 12:
I know it says you've cleared all your subscriptions, but don't panic! It means only the ones you chose. Wasn't that way easier than unsubscribing one by one?

Favorite Women to Follow on Instagram

Social media is this funny thing that can make you feel better about yourself one second, then two scrolls later like a complete loser. Because of this, for the past year I've been much more intentional about the people and accounts I follow on Instagram, ditching the bitchy meme accounts for individuals who keep me motivated and inspired.

In honor of International Women's Day, I thought I'd share a few accounts who I look forward to keeping up with. From bloggers, entrepreneurs, to everyday women, there are women of every age, race and location on this list.

If you have any faves, please leave their Instagram handle in the comments below!

Helene in Between @heleneinbetween

Helene is a full time blogger who took her passion for writing and turned it into a full time job. She recently moved to Germany, so on top of helping others figure out how to make their goals a reality, she also writes about her trips abroad.

Taylor Wolfe @thedailytay

I don't remember how I found Taylor, but I'm so glad I did. If you need someone to brighten your mood each morning, you need her Instastories on your feed. Something as basic as walking her dog turns into a hilarious adventure, trust me, you've gotta check her out.

Joy Cho @ohjoy

Another account that I don't remember how I found, but Joy is the perfect example of someone who turned hard work into a dream career. Her Instagram highlights life with two adorable kids, designing home stuff for Target and other major companies, and outfit of the days that will make you wanna step up your fashion game.

Megan @bodyposipanda

Hands down the best account I've found in months! If you aren't aware of the body positive movement on Instagram, stop what you're doing and go follow this account. Through Lauren I've been able to find a ton of other accounts I love, which are very needed since I think I'm finally hitting that part of my twenties when my body feels like it's going through a second puberty. Trust me, your mental health will thank you for this.


If you want a reason to laugh while on Instagram without all the cattiness that can come from meme accounts, Dee.nasty is a hilarious comedian living in New York City. Apart from the skits she creates with her friends, her everyday life is hilarious and strangely relatable.

Celeste Barber @celestebarber

Such a random addition but she is the definition of a cool mom. When she's not recreating celebrities ridiculous Instagram photos, she's harassing her hot husband and making hilarious comments on motherhood.
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