The only thing harder than walking into work on Monday morning is dragging your tired ass to the bus stop. Or train terminal or subway station, whatever your personal choice of hell is. While it's nice not having to feel personally victimized by every idiot on the road, you are then forced to socialize with complete strangers day after day. And yes, you can put on your headphones and sunglasses to avoid any real form of communication, but that won't stop your neighbor from leaning on you for literal support or letting their bag spill over to your side of the seat.
After over a year of commuting to work in everything but the privacy of my own car, I've narrowed down all the crazy shit I've seen on the bus to a list of people you will definitely encounter while staring out the window pretending to be in a sad music video.
The One Who Definitely Slept Through Their Alarm
They're easy to spot, usually frantically searching through their pockets or purse for commuter card, one article of clothing is either inside out or wrinkled beyond repair, and they are calling in to work to mention how some pipe in their apartment burst making them late.
The One Who Must Not Own a Mirror
I am both envious of this girl and annoyed by her. She is able to perfectly apply her foundation, eyeliner, mascara and bronzer all before I'm able to untangle my headphones. How she manages to not stab her eye out every morning is beyond me, but you want her to teach you her ways while also yell at her for letting her damn broken compact splatter all over your work pants.
The One Who Is Definitely Lost
Whether they are new to the city, never catch the bus or just can't seem to figure out where they need to be, this person will ask everyone at the stop which direction the bus/train is going, only to forget moments later and ask someone else. Once on the bus they won't have their money ready and also have no idea how much a bus costs nowadays. Be nice to this person, we've all been there.
The One Who Looks Bothered to be There
Obviously I don't know anything about this person so these are all assumptions I've made while trying to preserve my phone battery, but this person looks like they either a)hate their job hence hate the commute or b)hate that they live in a city that is so overcrowded that it makes more sense to share a bus with 50+ people instead of drive themselves to work. Either way their grumpy face is a bit more menacing than mine, I'm just tired, they look angry.
The One Who Makes the Most of Their Time
With either a laptop to read documents or fully charged Kindle, this person doesn't believe in wasting a moment of their day. Unlike most of us who listen to the same playlist for the hundredth time, this person uses their commute to exercise their brain, get a little work done before even entering the office or just make the rest of us feel totally inferior.
The One Who's New to this Whole Commuter Life
All you can think when you see them is, "why don't you have your card ready? We've been standing waiting for the bus for like 10 minutes! Now move to the back of the bus, no you cant hog the entire pole to yourself. Your bag is literally slapping that guy in the face. God, have you ever been on a bus before?!"
The One That Has Their Shit Together
They look like they showered, as in this morning! Hair is both dry and styled, clothes are perfectly ironed, shit isn't falling out of their bag and they have their commuter card ready but not so early that they look overeager to board. You envy them and at the same time wonder where they buy all their cardigans.
How do you get to work in the morning? Or are you one of those lucky few that lives within walking distance? Lemme know if I missed anyone or if you fit into one of these categories!