Remember a few weeks ago when some Instagram model decided that all of social media was a lie and she was going to close \her accounts? Me neither, because it was ridiculous and in my opinion a cry for more attention. I didn't read any of the articles on it mostly because there are much more important things going on than some girl who has decided all of the sudden to clear up all the lies people tell on Instagram. People like her that make normal seventeen year olds feel ashamed of their bodies, lifestyle and frankly, bank accounts.
Yeah, we all know you're being paid to wear that waist cincher and that you don't actually spend your days sitting by the pool. We're not morons, so spare us the story of how you're addicted to social media while also going back and updating your old posts for more attention.
Months ago, before this girl decided to condemn the apps that keep us from losing our minds while standing in line at the DMV, I wrote a post about the lies I tell on Instagram. It sat in my drafts folder for a long time, honestly because I was too lazy to embed all the pictures.
Related Post: All the Ways My Boyfriend Uses Instagram Wrong
Now that time has passed and everyone has all but forgotten about the girl who used to get paid to wear clothes that according to her she couldn't leave the house in, I'd like to share with you all the lies I tell on Instagram, except way less glamorous and I don't get a damn cent off of any of it.
As your typical twenty something living in the city, my time is spent watching cable that is way too expensive in my opinion and petting dogs on the street because I cant have one of my own. Basically my Instagram is basic as fuck, so I like to spruce it up with a few white lies.
Almost all of my Instagram photos are actually Latergrams, as in I posted it hours (sometimes days) after it actually happened.
This day wasn't sunny at all, it was cloudy and gross. I filtered the crap out of this photo.
See this perfect angle? I spent 10 minutes trying to find it.
This gelato sucks, and I know it sucks. I just went here to take a photo of the cute cup.
For every one cat photo I post, there are twenty more saved on my phone.
They look cute and cuddly, but in real life my boyfriend kicks me in his sleep and my cat likes to sit on my face. Jerks.
Look at us we're so crafty. Not picture is the argument we had over who was nitpicking who which led to me finishing it by myself.
Chicken strips, funny seeing you here. This is the only thing I order at a restaurant, seriously.
Look at me, I support local bookstores. *Secretly prays my ex-boyfriend will see this photo and wish he never left me!*
This isn't even my dog.
Or this one.
Nope, not my dog either.
I stole this idea from someone else. Sorry not sorry.
Oh, and this isn't my cat.
Or this one.
Look at me, world traveler over here! Just kidding I live here and it sucks cause the rent is too damn high.
I came here with the sole purpose of taking this photo.
This stuff just happened to fall on the table like this. Okay, this isn't even a table, it's just a piece of cardboard on the ground.
I'm freezing and I may have lost a toe.
You know what no one ever mentions about backpacking? How they haven't had the chance to brush their teeth in two days.
Are you guilty of telling any lies on Instagram? Share in the comments one way you aren't 100% truthful on social media.