All the Lies I Tell on Instagram


Remember a few weeks ago when some Instagram model decided that all of social media was a lie and she was going to close \her accounts? Me neither, because it was ridiculous and in my opinion a cry for more attention. I didn't read any of the articles on it mostly because there are much more important things going on than some girl who has decided all of the sudden to clear up all the lies people tell on Instagram. People like her that make normal seventeen year olds feel ashamed of their bodies, lifestyle and frankly, bank accounts.

Yeah, we all know you're being paid to wear that waist cincher and that you don't actually spend your days sitting by the pool. We're not morons, so spare us the story of how you're addicted to social media while also going back and updating your old posts for more attention.

Months ago, before this girl decided to condemn the apps that keep us from losing our minds while standing in line at the DMV, I wrote a post about the lies I tell on Instagram. It sat in my drafts folder for a long time, honestly because I was too lazy to embed all the pictures.

Related Post: All the Ways My Boyfriend Uses Instagram Wrong

Now that time has passed and everyone has all but forgotten about the girl who used to get paid to wear clothes that according to her she couldn't leave the house in, I'd like to share with you all the lies I tell on Instagram, except way less glamorous and I don't get a damn cent off of any of it.

As your typical twenty something living in the city, my time is spent watching cable that is way too expensive in my opinion and petting dogs on the street because I cant have one of my own. Basically my Instagram is basic as fuck, so I like to spruce it up with a few white lies.

Almost all of my Instagram photos are actually Latergrams, as in I posted it hours (sometimes days) after it actually happened.

This day wasn't sunny at all, it was cloudy and gross. I filtered the crap out of this photo.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

See this perfect angle? I spent 10 minutes trying to find it.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

This gelato sucks, and I know it sucks. I just went here to take a photo of the cute cup.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

For every one cat photo I post, there are twenty more saved on my phone.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

They look cute and cuddly, but in real life my boyfriend kicks me in his sleep and my cat likes to sit on my face. Jerks.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Look at us we're so crafty. Not picture is the argument we had over who was nitpicking who which led to me finishing it by myself.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Chicken strips, funny seeing you here. This is the only thing I order at a restaurant, seriously.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Look at me, I support local bookstores. *Secretly prays my ex-boyfriend will see this photo and wish he never left me!*


A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

This isn't even my dog.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Or this one.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Nope, not my dog either.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

I stole this idea from someone else. Sorry not sorry.


Oh, and this isn't my cat.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Or this one.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

Look at me, world traveler over here! Just kidding I live here and it sucks cause the rent is too damn high.


I came here with the sole purpose of taking this photo.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

This stuff just happened to fall on the table like this. Okay, this isn't even a table, it's just a piece of cardboard on the ground.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

I'm freezing and I may have lost a toe.

A photo posted by Rubi (@whenlifegivesyourubi) on

You know what no one ever mentions about backpacking? How they haven't had the chance to brush their teeth in two days.





Are you guilty of telling any lies on Instagram? Share in the comments one way you aren't 100% truthful on social media. 

8 comments

  1. Hahaha. I tell many lies on Instagram. According to my instagram, I eat 100% healthy and have a grey cat. NOT TRUE.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    1. I think we're all a bit guilty of seeing a cute animal and wanting to take a picture of it. But at least you eat healthy often enough to photograph it, I dont think I've ever shared a healthy looking meal on my account

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  2. nah, i'm too lazy to take a billion photos to get the right one...most of the time i forget to even take my phone out to take a picture!!! that pic of your dog is adorable, though!!

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    Replies
    1. I'm actually getting really terrible at taking pictures with the cold weather starting. Having to dig through all my layers to find my phone is too big of a pain

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  3. Hahah I love these, I felt exactly the same when that girl quit instagram, like we know that it isn't your perfect life! I love all the photos of dogs which aren't yours, thats definitely something I do too. All about the latergrams! x

    Jasmin Charlotte x

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    1. I just found her whole story so annoying I completely blocked it out. Obviously we know it's all a lie, Instagram celebrities dont all spend their days waist training and drinking weight loss teas. But yess, they should maybe rethink the name because anyone who posts photos in the moment has never met me

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  4. This post made me laugh! I too live in the DC area but still find myself taking touristy photos every once in a while. I'm also guilty of posting photos of food that wasn't even that good, just because it looks cute. Instagram is this addictive little wormhole of everyone saying "look at this extremely edited photo that I just happened to snap effortlessly" and we all eat it up. But instagram is my favorite social media site for that reason, I like that we're all putting our best foot forward.

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    1. I thought I recognized your name from somewhere, I follow your blog on Bloglovin but I cant remember how I found it in the first place :(
      So many of my food photos are actually my friend's food, all I eat are chicken strips which arent the most photogenic. But IG will forever be my favorite, there's way less engagement announcements there and unwanted political opinions :)

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