Lies People Tell You About Being in Your Twenties


Being in your twenties sometimes feels a lot like the first time you're left home alone. You're excited for all this new found independence but at the same time, you have no idea what the hell to do with it all. Sure you can survive by cooking yourself some noodles and sitting yourself in front of the television, but it's hard to enjoy the moment when it seems as if everyone around you is talking about all the things you should be doing instead. 

FOMO is a term that didn't exist a year ago, at least not in my life. Fear of missing out is leading twenty somethings to make decisions based on not wanting to feel left out or stray too far from the crowd. With articles telling twenty somethings all about the things they should do before graduating college, starting their first job and getting married, it can weigh on someone who just wants to live life without comparing every one of their moments to another's.

After reading way too many articles on all the reasons I should quit my job right now and why I don't need a boyfriend, I've rounded up the eight most popular lies twenty somethings are told on a daily basis. Don't worry about it, in reality we all sometimes just want to sit at home with out pet and binge watch a TV show we're not even sure we like all that much.


You should be dating lots of people. 

Just like with everything in life, people today prefer lots of options. Whether they're choosing a new conditioner or new boyfriend, we've grown used to having a variety of ones to pick from. Dating apps have made this incredibly easy, but at the same time, cheapened what it means to go on a date. Gone are the days of dinner and a movie, all you're left with is grabbing a drink or meeting up somewhere. Dating lots of people is anyone way of saying you yourself are just one of many, and suddenly it doesn't sound so appealing anymore, does it?

Nobody is looking for a serious relationship. 

Lies! It's all lies! I know it can feel like every guy out there is just looking to hook up and move on, but what can you expect when the sole reason why the two of you met was because you were impressed by the few photos they uploaded to an app? People in their twenties are capable of a serious relationship, what they need to be is willing to stay committed in that relationship. It's easy to say you're happier single because there's less drama, and trust me, I miss that feeling too sometimes. But don't be afraid to put yourself out there because so far every guy you've met has been an ass. They were an ass, but I promise, there's one out there that won't be. 

Most people don't have a clue what they're doing. 

Yes and no. While most people don't know what they want to do for the rest of their life, many know what interests them and have an idea of where they'd like to see themselves in the future. While there is no shame in exploring multiple interests, don't allow that curiosity to hold you back from committing to something you care about. You don't have to know what you're doing, but at least have an idea of what you rather not do. 

You need to start your career. 

Very few people land their dream job in their twenties. This past semester I took a course on career counseling and development where we learned all about the factors that play a role in someone's profesisonal development, career choices and the reasons why things like midlife career changes happen. Don't worry if the job you are currently working isn't something you want to do for the rest of your life. As long as it is a stepping stone to where you want to be, embrace the progression towards finding the job role that will leave you feeling accomplished every day. 

Spend these years traveling the world. 

Why does every blog targeted towards twenty somethings push the idea that we need to spend all our money and time traveling? Don't get me wrong, I love to travel. I myself spent five weeks backpacking through Europe, but that doesn't mean I am any more ahead of the game than my friends who haven't crossed an ocean. Travelling is fun when you're young, but it can also be a whole lot more fun when you can afford to sleep in actual hotels instead of on bunk beds in a room full of strangers. Don't be discouraged if you aren't spending a week in Paris, you have your whole life to travel, your passport is revoked when you hit 30.

You shouldn't rely on your parents anymore. 

Definitely don't rely on them to pay your rent or cover your monthly grocery costs, but it's perfectly fine to count on your mom to help you with all those things you haven't yet figured out, like taxes the proper way to send a thank you note. Just because you're out of the house doesn't mean you suddenly know the answers to everything, so go ahead and call your mom to ask her for that recipe for the millionth time this year. 

You have to accomplish 'x' amount of things during your twenties. 

While having goals during your twenties is important, remember that nobody can set them for you. After college graduation I was convinced that I had to finish grad school within two years. I quickly realized this was impossible if I also planned to rent my own place and move to the city. Ignore all the milestones people put pressure on you to meet and focus on making progress on your own terms. As long as you're moving forward, it doesn't matter if it takes a bit longer to reach your goal.

These are the best years of your life. 

Maybe they are, but most likely not. This is a thing everyone says no matter your age, remember when people used to tell you your high school years were the best years of your life? Sure our twenties are fun and exciting, but there's got to be something better than spending weekend nights standing out in the cold waiting to get inside a club or at home with a pizza and Netflix being guilted for not going out. Our twenties are supposed to be confusing and stressful, but I've got a feeling it's the next decade where we can start spending our money on all those trips everyone's been telling us we should go on.



What's one big lie you've heard about being in your twenties? Let me know what impossible standard you're failing to meet in the comments below.

7 comments

  1. i think your 30s are the best years of your life...you know more, you're more comfortable in your skin and the best part? you give no fucks.... like, at all and that's the most liberating thing!

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  2. I agree 100% on your point about traveling. You have your whole life to see this beautiful earth! There's no rush!

    http://thealwaysblog.com/

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    1. I just get so frustrated when blogs try to make people feel bad for not travelling when they're young. Yes it can be awesome, but not everyone is that fortunate!

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  3. Agree with all of these! I hear the no serious relationships so frequently and it's so bogus.

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    1. I hear it all the time from guys who go on a new Tinder date every other day. I always just wanna scream, "people aren't scared of commitment, it's just you!"

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  4. Thank you for this post!
    I really, really needed this in my life. :')
    Minaali
    The Snap Narrative

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    Replies
    1. you're so welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it xx

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