Aannndd my boyfriend just yelled. Which is the reason why I'm writing this.
Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that the Super Bowl happened yesterday. Oh hold on, I'm receiving a lesson on Tom Brady that I didn't ask for. Let me pause to nod and shake my head at the right moments...
What did I learn? My boyfriend is still on team Tom Brady isn't a cheater. Anyways!
The Super Bowl happened last night, number 51 if you wanna be specific. Growing up sports weren't really a thing in my family, instead we bonded over episodes of Judge Judy and Cops. Much more educational, much more scarring. Because of this I never developed an interest for sports, also I sucked at all of them. Hard. As in I somehow made the softball team in the 7th grade but never actually touched the bat to a ball. Yeah, that bad.
But because last night was the Super Bowl, like the okayish girlfriend I am, I decided to watch it with my newish boyfriend. I say ish because sometimes I'm a pain in the ass and the newness has faded. Probably because he thinks it's okay to fart in front of me now. I thought I had a few more months, he disagrees.
During the game I started noticing differences between how I enjoy the Super Bowl versus how my boyfriend enjoys the Super Bowl, and don't get me started on how all my friends on Instagram are enjoying the game. So in an effort to distract myself from my boyfriend's nonstop pacing and put down the chips, I thought I'd talk about a few of the reasons why I'll never be one of those cool girls who totally gets football and can genuinely enjoy the Super Bowl for more than just a reason to eat.
Chips are where my expertise lieI can name all the Tostinos chip flavors but don't you dare ask me who the Patriots played last night! Plus, I had an unfair advantage, my boyfriend is a giant Patriots fan so I only knew because he's been talking about it forever.
I don't like to be told things twiceWho decided that every moment needs to be replayed in two different speeds from four different angles? I mean, I get it, sometimes you miss a play (yeah, I totally know that term), but there should be an option to watch a replay-less version.
Annnnd the cats are hiding under the couch. The Patriots just scored and won the game. My boyfriends fists are in the air and he's screaming like Beyonce walked in. I'm happy, I am, but also, does anyone ever feel bad for the losing team? I mean, I get it, they're millionaires. But if I cry when I accidentally erase an essay, how do they feel? Anyways, back to what I was saying.
My bladder answers to no oneTrue story, in the last 30 seconds I asked, "Would this be a bad time to go to the bathroom?" I mean I knew this is a big deal and the game was tied, but all that Sprite was just passing through me. I went anyways, cause UTIs are no joke and I would have probably peed myself from the screams coming out of my boyfriend anyways.
I'm just here for the commercialsBut aren't we all? Don't tell me you didn't cry during that military, 360 view of the Super Bowl. I have no idea what it was promoting, my eyes were too full of tears. Commercials during the Super Bowl are basically the only time I don't zone out on my phone, and while everyone enjoys them, I don't think it's typical to zone out in the space between commercial breaks.
Are you a big sports fan? Tell me your secrets for being able to keep up with it all, all season long! If not, how do you pass the time while watching sports with friends?