Then I realized something.
I don't spend all my time in bars. My social circle is small and I wear headphones around the clock, so good luck talking to me while I'm out in public. Every guy I have ever dated was either a friend first or I met at work or school, meaning I've never really dated a stranger. So one day I kind of just opened my eyes and realized that I wasn't going to meet anyone unless I a)drastically changed my lifestyle or b)tried this thing that all the kids were doing.
There was just one rule I had, never Tinder. No offense to the creators of the app but Tinder is just the anti-me, and there was no possible way I going to spend my time basically rating people on their looks. Beyond this one rule, I was ready to dive in to the online dating scene, and guess what? It worked out!
If you're anything like me and have spent hours hearing friend's horror stories of they guys they meet, or worse, receive messages from, read on to learn the two things I learned about online dating, plus the lie that I uncovered.
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Truth: It takes a lot of time and effort.Finding a real relationship online takes much more time than simply swapping through profiles on your commute to and from work. Chances are the first few days of being online will lead to you being flooded by messages, with over 90% of them being from people you're not interested.
If your goal is to meet someone you can date long term, sorting through the dozens of messages will not only take time, it might lead you to feel this was all a bad idea. True story, I deleted my account within 18 hours of opening it the first time I made it. Why? I was completely overwhelmed by the number of messages I was receiving, and as someone who doesn't like attention for the sake of attention, it was just too much too fast.
To make this process easier set some requirements for the type of guy you're looking for. Whether that be their education or the type of effort they put into a message, doing so will seriously help you not waste time on individuals you won't have a real connection with.
Truth: Your photo matters just as much as your profile.As terrible as it sounds, your picture is the one thing that will get people to visit your profile, so make sure it's a good one. My advice is that it not be a selfie and be a photo of only you. If you want to go a step above, uploading multiple pictures of different scenarios is a simple way to feature more of your personality without words.
Even though I poured my heart into my profile, I know that my friendly looking photo is what led people to notice me in the first place. Once you have good photo, don't skimp on the content on your profile. You wouldn't believe how many girls put minimal information and rely on mostly photos to get their matches/messages.
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Lie: You won't find anyone you genuinely like.If you've ever listened to your friends talk about their online dating experiences, most likely you've heard them say how no guy online is looking for a serious relationship. They're lying! Chances are they are either a)giving their time to guys who send the same message to every girl or b)not spending the time to find a match who are they compatible with personality wise.
Just because you can set a height requirement doesn't mean you should, so make sure to give everyone a chance with boundaries. I went on multiple dates with several guys who never once gave me a vibe that they were looking to just hook up, leading to my now relationship.
Just like real life, every guy you talk to won't lead to a relationship, so instead of stressing out enjoy the process of meeting new people and letting things develop naturally. To help get to know your matches and their intentions, I recommend you talk to them online for no more than two weeks before going on a real life date.