CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY


"It's a crime against humanity!" I screamed at the metro worker who had stopped to ask me if was okay. Apparently my face was just as pain stricken as my feet. Not in my possession for more than 24 hours and my new pair of shoes, the ones I specially ordered because they didn't carry my size in stores, had turned their backs on me.

You know what I'm talking about, we've all limped down the street screaming at ourselves. New shoes, they look so great in the store, feel amazing and better yet they're seem to always be the ones you bought on sale. You try them on and take a lap around the store. No red flags. Even as you pair them with an outfit for the first time everything seems fine. It's not until you walk your first city block in them that you realize you've been betrayed.

By the saleswoman who said they would match everything.

By the shiny red sticker that marked them 40% off.

By the new damn pair of shoes you know you'll never wear again. At least if you enjoy not walking in a pool of your own blood.

Every store should have an exception in it's return policy for shoes. You never truly know until you wear them out, but once they're worn they cant be returned. It's not as if I can lose weight to make them fit better. Shoes are this thing that either work or don't, yet also have the most strict return policies.

As I sit here with my bandaged ankles, calves hurting from walking on my tip toes home, I stare across the room to the front door where I ripped off the flats I once believed would go great with anything. And there they will sit, mocking me until the day I probably move out of this apartment and decide it's time to throw them out.

This doesn't just happen to me right? I can't possibly have exceptionally sensitive feet. Someone please tell me they have at least one pair of shoes who at one point in time cut into the back of their ankle, or at least a recommendation of where to buy cute flats that won't send me home crying in agony.

*as I was about to hit publish I decided to add a little update. I tried to wear them again, this time with these super fancy gel insert things. I'm currently sitting at work with four band aids on my foot.*

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