Petty Reasons I Wish I Could Break Up with Someone Over

I've said it a million times and I'll say it again, breakups are hard. Ever since becoming a therapist I've learned all the different ways people deal with the end of a relationship, apparently everyone doesn't lay on the kitchen floor and eat popcorn from sunrise to sunset.

Over the years I've written a lot on relationships, specifically when they end. I like to say that coping with breakups is something I should be certified in, because I have more than enough experience to help everyone get through the stages of a breakup.

If you've been on this blog for a little while or found me way before this website ever existed, you might know that my claim to fame is a post I wrote that went viral on how to get over a breakup. I wrote the post in the middle of the night in tears, classic me, and somehow people connected with it. To this day the post is still on the first page of Google results when you're looking for ways to get over a guy, and that's how my love for writing really began.

Breakups are hard, but what about breakups where we break up for petty reasons? Click to read my petty relationship deal breakers, then share one of yours!


Not all breakups are bad though, I think we all have that one relationship that we were relieved finally ended. The other day I was in the middle of an argument with my boyfriend, one of those ridiculous ones where no one is genuinely mad, fussy would be a better description. In that moment I wanted to leave and never come back, and that's how this post came to be. Below are my relationship deal breakers, that is if I was as petty as I wish I could be.

POPCORN BOWLS

I'm embarrassed to admit how many arguments I've had about popcorn. As an avid popcorn eater and regular meal skipper, when I pop a bag it's more than just a snack to me. Watching men grab fistfuls of one of my favorite foods while on an empty stomach irritates me more than sitting in traffic, so yeah, sometimes I get a little crazy. 

At least once I week I yell at my boyfriend about how much popcorn he grabs at a time, and we've both agreed that sometimes I can be kind of a bitch about it. I'm sorry okay, I'm just not good at sharing one of my favorite snacks. 

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TELLING SPOILERS

There's never a time when I'm all caught up on my shows, typically being a season behind where everyone else is. I'm pretty great at avoiding spoilers though, don't believe me? I have no idea how Lost or Harry Potter end! But you know what it's like to date a guy who reads a movie synopsis while we're on our way to watch that very same movie? Infuriating! I know it's not the worst thing ever, but sometimes I could really call it quits over this.

For this reason you'll typically see me ripping the phone out of his hands, the man just cant resist spoiling a good TV episode or film. I've gotten better about keeping up with my shows, but I refuse to hear a movie review about a movie that I haven't yet seen. 
Breakups are hard, but what about breakups where we break up for petty reasons? Click to read my petty relationship deal breakers, then share one of yours!

BEING A FOODIE

This is very much specific to me since I've been a picky eater since anyone can remember. My picky eating habits are quite severe, so severe that I have a history of being assessed for an eating disorder. I don't have body image problems, I just don't enjoy the taste of most foods. But you know what's hard? Dating a guy who likes to eat out, or worse, cook creative meals. So far I've avoided this by being very open about my eating habits, but I fear the day I cross paths with someone who enjoys cooking.

Luckily my current boyfriend is a picky eater as well, even though he occasionally tries to convince me to taste something new. It's just not gonna happen though, he should save his energy for bigger battles, like popcorn bowls.

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BAD PHOTOGRAPHY

My dream man not only knows to to take a clear, well lit photograph, but can also give me better feedback than "it looks good" when I ask him for an opinion on my Instagram editing. Is that asking for too much? I'm not saying full on Instagram husband status, but when are guys gonna get the memo that we need them to step up their photo taking skills? Take a class on Groupon, watch a YouTube tutorial, do something!


Now that I'm done trashing 90% of the male population, tell me, what's one petty reason you wish you could break up with someone for? 

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3 comments

  1. Ha this is too good. I don't think I could date someone who didn't like dogs. Or didn't eat carbs...just no deal.

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  2. I love this! I can be super petty sometimes too. I find it so annoying when people spoil shows or movies! My sister does it all the freaking time and I can't stand it!

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