What It's Like to Date an Introvert

Ever wonder if a guy is introverted or just shy? Click to read the traits that most introverted guys share.

Just as I was about to start writing this post I realized the last time I took an assessment on extroversion and introversion was the 9th grade. I distinctly remember there being a poster on the wall that had the words extrovert and introvert written in blue and purple marker, and underneath were positive traits of each type.

Back in the 9th grade we were all convinced it was better to be an extrovert. I mean, who wouldn't wanna be the type of person who has a million friends and an active social life? I'll tell you who, an overworked, midtwenties female who rather stay at home and watch Netflix than stay at the party till it's long past over.

Since I probably faked a bunch of answers the last time I took the assessment, I decided to retake one that had a little more credibility to it. Within seconds I found an 81 question assessment on Psychology Today, seemed legit. A few minutes later I had my score, I was basically in the middle.

Looking at my snapshot report, it makes sense. I like to have friends but I don't feel the need to see them all the time. My upbringing has greatly influenced my personality, with a mom who didn't believe in sleepovers and a habit of moving towns faster than I could get close to people in my twenties. Along the way though I've managed to pair up with someone who is 100% an introvert, which gave me my first lesson in just how different we are even though I fall in the middle of the scale.

Introverts are known to enjoy having time for themselves, lose energy easily when in social situations, and seen as others as quiet and difficult to get to know. Each person varies in their level of introversion, yet after having dated multiple introverts, I've noticed a pattern in the traits each seemed to have to a certain extent.

Personal time is necessary

It's true what they say, introverts needs time to themselves to recharge and most of all, have some fun. As an in the middle person, it's sometimes hard to deal with dating someone who rather stay at home and do nothing. Before an argument starts, consider whether you can go with someone else, how you would feel being dragged somewhere, and alternate ways you can spend time together without invading each other's space.

Social gatherings are a battle

I totally understand not wanting to be the last to leave a party, but turning down every invitation seems a little harsh to me. Introverts are much happier staying home or spending time with people who are close to them. Having to go somewhere full of strangers and endless small talk already sounds exhausting enough, so cut them some slack and choose smaller outings.

Not very confrontational

Dare I say this is my favorite quality? To be honest, I'm a very confrontational person. Whether it's a random lurker on the street or my best friend, I have no problem telling people how I feel, and loudly too. Introverts are much more reflective, less impulsive with their words, and overall much kinder in relationships. At least in my experience! If you're a loudmouth like me, keep this in mind next time you have a disagreement.

Friends are important

It's a total myth that introverts don't have any friends, the difference is that they don't feel the desire to constantly be meeting and connecting with new people. If you're dating an introvert, impressing the friends is super important. These are the few people your partner has decided to open up to, so make sure you make a good first impression and avoid trashing them later down the line.

Have you ever dated an introvert? If so, how did it blend with your personality type? 

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  1. I actually am an introvert, and I wish people who wanted to date me read this! Especially the one about me not be confrontational. I loathe confrontation and any sort of voice raising freaks me out.

    1. It was my current boyfriend that taught me this lesson, definitely the hard way. As someone who is confrontational it's hard at time to not blow up, but learning to communicate is something every partner should commit to doing.

  2. Well I've never dated an introvert...but I am one. You totally hit the nail on the head with this one. I hate that I have to decline invitations and can't socialize with people as much but I know it is much better to respect myself than to be in the corner of a party feeling sorry for myself. You've gotta have a balance i guess.

    1. I always assumed I was extroverted until I took this test, but now I realize why I'm a bit more picky about the people I spend time with and the places I like to go. Learning what environments you thrive in is so important for having fun and respecting your own boundaries.