My Saturday started off like any other, waking up at 10, liking everyone's brunch photos on Instagram and eating my weight in potatoes. When I decided to turn on the television I figured I was going to catch up on Real Housewives or My 600 Pound Life. I know, I have a very random taste in TV. After scrolling for a bit, it happened, stage one of watching a Law and Order SVU marathon.
You might also like: How to Survive a Trip to Ikea with Your Boyfriend
Stage 1: Aimless channel surfingIt starts off innocently enough. You decide to watch some TV but don't know what's on. The news is too depressing and you feel too old for anything on MTV. After flipping around for a bit you reach the destination you didn't even know was there.
Stage 2: RealizationJust as you're about to hit the channel button what's on screen catches your attention. Wait, is that Olivia?? Hold on, is there a marathon going on right now? Yep, and you're three hours late to it. To never miss a Law and Order SVU marathon, you can follow xxxx on Twitter.
Stage 3: Have I seen this episode?Chances are you've seen whatever episode is on, no matter what time it is or what channel you're on. Die hard fans can name what guest star appears or who is Olivia's current partner. Bonus points if you know the ADA.
Stage 4: I'll just watch oneAt this point you still feel in control. You've already seen this episode so it's not like you're gonna get sucked in. You sit down to enjoy bad guys getting caught, maybe even text a friend to tell them there's a marathon on.
Stage 5: Okay, I mean one full episodeThe episode you stumbled upon has ended. You have less than a minute to decide if you're gonna get up or sit and watch the next crime. Here's the thing, I think if you have the self control to shut it off before the crime is committed you might just be able to walk away. Most of us just have to see what episode it is, and by watching the crime we decide to just watch one more.
Stage 6:But it's themed!Now that you've spent another full hour watching Law and Order SVU you realized today's marathon is themed. Maybe the theme is famous guest stars or crimes committed by children. I don't know the exact science around this, but a theme makes it so much more fun to watch.
Stage 7: Well, this is my life nowIt's been three hours and you're still watching. At this point you are either still in denial but not moving, or have given in and are surrounded by snacks and your phone charger. Settle in for the day, you won't be doing anything productive anytime soon.
When's the last time you got sucked into a Law and Order SVU marathon? And if you have a favorite episode, share it in the comments below! I'm always interested to know which people love most of all!