As someone who has never earned an income that sends me a W2, I was completely clueless about the whole process. Because I waited until the last minute I ended up filing at work, as in during work hours when I was supposed to be doing probably a dozen other things. The process was brutal and with no one to call for help I was over it before it began, so I vowed this year would be different.
Fast forward to 2017 and I was not a changed woman. January had just begun when my boyfriend started nagging me about starting my taxes. All I could think was, "dude, I have months to procrastinate." Then I remembered how last year felt, and don't get me started about how much I owed!
Like a real life functioning adult, I filed my taxes in March. March ya'll! I don't think you realize how big of a deal this was for me. Not only did I file early, I think I may have actually gotten a refund this year. I don't totally trust what Turbotax told me, because with my luck I'll get a "never mind we fucked up and you actually owe us double of what we promised you" email. Trust me, it's happened before.
This time around I decided I wasn't going to wait, and I was going to go at it with a positive attitude. Even though I still owe the IRS a ton of money from last year's taxes, I was determined this was gonna be my year. Well, this is what happened...
Okay, let's do this. The government wouldn't let me do this myself if it wasn't easy, right?
I mean, Turbotax believes in me. I believe in me!
Worst case scenario I can call my mom.
But oh god, I'm gonna have to tell her how much I spend a year on fast food. I can already hear her.
Then she's gonna yell about how much I spend on rent and start asking when I'm moving back home.
Forget it, we'll call that girl from college who looks like she has her shit together on Instagram.
Have all my forms ready, wait, where's my W2?
Where the fuck is that W2?! It's literally always here. Are you fucking kidding me?
*30 minutes later* Found it, it slid under the couch behind all the diet coke cans. Mental note to pick those up before I have company.
Okay, I'm doing this. I'm typing in numbers and stuff.
Yes, I'm a student! Yes, I pay rent! Yes, I have loans!
Yes, I'm single. I said, yes I'm single! Jesus christ how many times it gonna ask me if I have any dependents?
I paid how much in state taxes?!
From now on I'm reporting every crack in the sidewalk. I pay way too much money to be tripping on my walk home.
God, this really makes me wish I had gotten pregnant in high school. Think of the write offs!
Did I donate any money?? Umm, does buying Girl Scout cookies count?
Shit, I really need to start donating?
Own a home? HA. I don't even own a microwave.
It's double checking all my numbers. Please Jesus and all the other deities, give me a refund!!
Oh my fucking good, I'm in the green! I don't owe money! I'm gonna faint.
*two minutes later* But I guess I should pay those back taxes.
Well, I guess we're even now.
So tell me, what's your biggest pet peeve about filing taxes?